Lexa, No
by BlackHelix
Summary: Clarke swears that once she finds out who is supplying the Commander these lines, she'll kill them...Lexa, however, is determined to get this right even if she doesn't understand half of what she is told.
1. Cupid Called

**I have seriously been reading to many Clexa pick-up lines. Far too many. I need to stop.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Hello..."

"Lexa, no," Clarke spoke, spinning to face Lexa. "Don't do it."

Lexa's smile was bright. She was ready for this. This one had to work. The source was good. "Cupid called..."

"Lexa..."

Lexa ignored her, pressing on "...He says to tell you tha-"

"Stop. Please."

"-that he needs my heart back."

Clarke face palmed, not for the first time since this anonymous donor had begun donating Lexa these ridiculous pick-up lines. She swore to herself she'd find the person who was supplying the Grounders Commander with them and kill them. Slowly...maybe because Lexa was kind of adorable when she tried and the hopeful smile on the girls face was worth any pain of hearing idiotic sayings that people used nearly a hundred years ago. She wasn't even sure how they had ever actually worked a hundred years ago. People were stupid back then _well they did sought of blow up the planet too_ Clarke nodded to the thought.

"Who's Cupid?" Lexa inquired, a frown of confusion on her face. She should have inquired about that before she left.

_Nope, I'll kill them._

Clarke shook her head, pulled her hand from her face and looked up into the confused eyes of Lexa. "Who is telling you to say these things to me?"

"Hmm?" Lexa questioned, a hand coming to rest on her chin as she racked her brain for any mention in her life of a person named Cupid. The questioning blue eyes of the Sky princess helped to pull her back to reality a little. "Oh, your mother." She answered, a split second pause and she inquired again, "Who is Cupid?"

Clarke's eyes went wide and she barely muttered out, "My mother?"

Lexa removed her hand from her chin, glancing down at the blonde with shock and confusion plastered clearly across her face. "Your mother is Cupid?"

Lexa's words snapped Clarke out of her daze and she shook her head. "No." She told her.

Lexa frowned, "So your mother isn't Cupid?"

"No."

The Commander's frown got bigger, this didn't help her in the slightest. "Then who is Cupid?"

Clarke sighed and racked her brain for a way to explain, "He wields this bow and arrow and shoots people with it."

Lexa brow furrowed, "So he is a warrior?"

"Sought of."

Lexa shook her head and stood straighter, disgust crossing her features, "That is ridiculous. Shooting people is not romantic in the slightest. Death is nothing to romanticize about."

Clarke sighed again. "No he doesn't shoot to kill." Upon Lexa's inquisitive look she tried again, "He's a baby wearing a diaper and he shoots arrows at people, making them fall in love with one another."

"What's a diaper?"

Clarke opened her mouth to reply but it snapped shut just as fast as it had opened. She had no idea how she was supposed to answer that question. "Um...it's the uh...the stuff babies wear when they are born. So that they don't...you know...go...in their clothes."

Lexa squinted, considering Clarke's words carefully. A few moments later and realization came over Lexa, "Uh...daipr. It is our word for it."

"Right, yeah." Clarke nodded happily before her forehead creased and she added as an afterthought, "I think. I honestly have no idea if we are talking about the same thing here."

Lexa shook her head and scoffed lightly, "And your people call us harsh and savages."

"Huh?"

"We do not make our babies go to war," she considers the blondes words, "or shoot people just so that they can fall in love. Love is sacred, it cannot be forced to reciprocated and if it isn't reciprocated than that is what it is." Lexa pauses and glances down at Clarke, "Love is a bond that can only occur through the act-"

Clarke had stopped listening, a small smile on her face as Lexa continued prattling on about _love_ and it's customs amongst Grounders. It had to be the most honest thing she had heard come from Lexa's mouth and that was saying something considering the past few weeks.

Clarke's brow crinkled once she realized that Lexa was thinking that they sent their babies out to shoot people to force love.

"...love can be wea-"

"Wait!" Clarke called over Lexa's rant, "Cupid isn't real."

Lexa's brow furrows again, at this rate her face was bound to get stuck like that. "But you just sai-"

"He's a myth, a supposed person to signify love."

"Clarke!"

Clarke throws a look over her shoulder as she sees Kane on the other side of the camp waving her over to where one of the guards is limping. Turning back to Lexa, she offers the woman an apologetic smile.

"Duty calls."

Lexa shakes her head and watches as Clarke pivots on her heel and walks away from her in the direction of the wounded guard. "Sky people." She mutters at the absurdity of these people she has allied herself with. They are so confusing.

Lexa sighs, upon realization that she still hadn't managed to garner the blonde's affections. She needed help, serious help and there was only one person left who she could think of who could help her.

**I hope you enjoyed or at least got a small laugh out of it.**


	2. Hot in Winter?

**8 Days Earlier**

Lexa had tiptoed quietly through Camp Jaha moving quickly from one side of the camp to the other. She had ducked behind cover, dropped low to lay flat on ground to crawl pass low cover and moved between the throngs of people who had crowded together to watch some of the Grounders practice fight, she had been like an assassin stalking her prey.

She had felt ridiculous and probably looked just as ridiculous as she had felt doing it but she had to. Clarke had said she needed time and Lexa was determined to give the woman it. That meant no visual of Lexa nor any communication between the two, she had to let Clarke decide without constantly seeing her and that had been mildly simple for the first three months whilst she resided in Polis and Clarke was back here at Camp Jaha, she had missed the blonde but had had things to occupy herself with until Indra had informed her that the one's called Abigail Griffin and Marcus Kane had requested her presence to discuss the upcoming Winter.

Reluctantly she had went.

That was how she pretty much found herself sitting across from one Raven Reyes while the girl prattled on about mechanics this and mechanics that. Honestly, Lexa had no idea what a mechanic was anyway so anything else that came out of the girls mouth was way over her head.

"You know if you're going to continue sitting in here you could at least make yourself useful."

Lexa turned her attention away from the small object she was fiddling with that Raven had called a spark plug and turned it too the mechanic. "My apologies. I would appreciate staying, so what can I assist you with?"

Raven smirked and nodded over to the _weather station on wheels_. "I need to get under it."

Lexa frowned, she wasn't entirely strong, she was quick, fast and light on her feet. That was how she exceeded in battle, she defeated her enemies by striking fast and quick and dodging with vast speeds, yet she knew if she wanted to keep her current hiding space within Camp Jaha she had to do some lifting.

Lexa placed the spark plug on the bench and dropped down from her stool, crossing the room to the weather station.

"Great," Raven spoke, "Give me a sec to grab some things."

Lexa waited, cracking her knuckles as she pondered over her knew found hiding spot. She had been surprised when Raven had not contested her presence with the small hut like building.

"Right," Raven returned, a welding helmet in hand and a few tools to accompany it. She put her welding helmet on and dropped down to the ground laying back on a roller board, "Let's do this." She nodded flicking the visor of the helmet down.

Lexa nodded, reached for the bottom of the machine and with what strength she had, lifted it enough for Raven to slide underneath. After a few moments of silence and Lexa's shifting feet as the girl struggled to hold the heavy machinery up, Raven inquired, "So how long are you planning to hide from Clarke?"

Lexa grunted, shifted her fingers and footing to a more comfortable position. "I am not hiding from Clarke. I do not hide. I am not a child."

Raven scoffed, "Then what would you call avoiding Clarke to the point of stowing away in here with me then?"

"Giving her space."

"Is that why you were crawling across the ground behind cover this morning when Clarke headed for the mess hall."

Lexa felt her cheeks flush, she hadn't been aware anyone had saw her. She had to be more stealthy next time. She had to be invisible. "I-I-was trai-training." Lexa nodded, happy with her excuse.

"Like the wall incident?"

Lexa glared at the machinery hoping to burn a hole through it and into the girl underneath it. Nobody within the surrounding area of the event was to speak about such and incident again. "I find myself growing tired of holding this up."

"Fair enough," Raven said with a hint of mischievousness in her tone. "Could you lift a little higher. You know, lift with your knees."

Lexa considered dropping the machinery and calling it an accident but decided against it just as fast as the thought had come, she had caused this girl enough problems as it was. The sudden surge of guilt that coursed through her body caused her to lift the weather station a little higher, though she struggled, her arms trembled at the weight.

Raven sighed not wanting to assist the Commander in anyway but at the same time she knew how miserable Clarke had been since returning from TonDC. All the blonde had been able to talk about was Lexa this and Lexa that and if she wasn't the one who started the conversation, she still managed to find a way to include the Commander. "You should try flirting."

"Flirting?" Lexa asked with a tiny grunt. She would not show weakness, no matter how much she felt it right now.

"Yeah, like, um...being coy."

"Coy?"

"Yeah, like when you pretend to be shy or modest with the intent to be alluring."

Lexa scoffed at the idea, "I am a Commander. I am not coy, I say what needs to be said and I most certainly am not shy."

"Then I suppose you are against pick-up lines." Raven muttered under her breath.

Lexa heard. "What is a pick-up line."

Raven twisted a nut on the weather station as she considered how to answer that. "It's uh...something you um...hmm..." Raven fought for words she could use to describe it. "It's when you say something witty to attempt to get the affections of another. They're usua-" Raven felt herself being pulled out from underneath the weather station which thudded to the floor. She came face to face with green eyes and braided brown hair. "Wha-"

"How does this thing you call a...pi-ck-up li-ne..." Lexa sounded unsure of whether she had spoken it correctly, "...work?"

Raven glanced between the station and Lexa. "Thanks...I think."

"What do I need to do?"

Raven cleared her throat and answered, pulling her welding helmet of her head, she was obviously not going to be of anymore assistance today. "You need to say something witty."

Raven steadied herself to push herself to her feet when she saw Lexa stand and felt the Commander's hands wrap around her wrist before she found herself pulled up and onto her feet.

"Witty? How can I be witty?"

"Thanks," Raven muttered quietly, still not comfortable with thanking the Grounders Commander. "Just say something like," she changed the pitch in her voice slightly, "'Did you just come out of the oven? Cause you're hot'," returning to her normal voice she continued "something like that."

Lexa considered this for a moment before nodding, "I thank you for your assistance, Raven of the Sky People." She started for the door.

"Wait," Raven called, "Where are you going?"

"To be witty," Lexa answered pulling the door open.

To the retreating form of the Commander, Raven spoke. "I didn't meant to use it..." she trailed off when it was obvious Lexa wasn't listening.

Lexa exited the mechanics hut, nodded once at the presence of the one called Wick who was heading in her direction to the hut. She scanned the camp as he offered a small 'hi' before disappearing inside. She found her target, locked onto it and started for it, breezing past her people and some of the Arker's, she ignored the calls of _Heda_ from her own people as she closed in on a blonde haired figure.

Clarke turned, hearing the voice's of Grounder's calling out _Heda_, it couldn't have been Lexa, she hadn't seen the woman in months but there the girl was, paving her way towards her. She wanted to hug her but she didn't want Lexa to face the aftermath for appearing to show weakness and that was the only reason that she locked up her legs and refused to run towards the girl.

She plastered a warm smile on her face as she greeted the girl, "Lexa."

"Clarke," Lexa nodded to the woman as she pulled to a stop in front of her.

"You've been gone for a while..." she dropped her voice to a small whisper "...I miss..."

"Did you just come out of the oven?"

Clarke froze and all thoughts of what she was going to say were gone upon Lexa's words.

"Uh...what?"

"Cause you're hot."

Clarke's brow furrowed. That had not been what she had been expecting from Lexa's first words to her in a little over three months. "Oka-"

Lexa gave Clarke a ludicrous look. "That is foolish. You can not be hot as it is Winter and the weather is freezing in these parts, the fact that you are wearing a jacket proves so."

Clarke opened her mouth to speak but snapped it shut and waited for a few seconds for the right words to come to her before she tried again, "I'm not sure that that is what wa-"

"It is ridiculous and I will not be trying that again."

"Trying what again?"

"Being witty." Lexa answered, "It is an experience that bore only stupidity."

Clarke smiled at the thought of Lexa trying to be witty to her and if she had any idea of what was to come because of her one smile, she may have just walked away or kissed her right there and then. "It was the thought that counted."

"Bu-"

"Clarke, your Mom wants to see you," Jasper interrupted.

Clarke glanced between the boy and Lexa before sighing. "Don't go anywhere. We have some things we need to talk about." She told the Commander.

Lexa nodded and watched as Clarke walked away starting up a conversation with the strange goggle wearing boy. She considered the previous few minutes and judging by the smile on Clarke's face at the time, the pick-up lines idea had seemed to work. Lexa would find a way to pay Raven back for it but for now, she crossed over towards Indra who stood from her place next to Octavia to face her Heda.

"What is an oven?"


	3. New In Town

**7 Days Earlier**

Lexa ran her hands over the oak of the table. She was glad she could now reside in her own tent rather then the sterile environment of the Sky People. She wasn't very far from them though, a short walk, no horses required but still she the camp and her tent was away from their strange ways and customs.

The clatter of books hitting the table yanked Lexa from her thoughts as she turned to the intrusion.

"_Heda_," Indra bowed her head lightly before motioning to the books. "I have searched the _skaikru_ library and I believe these should help you succeed."

Lexa glanced over a few of the titles and nodded her satisfaction in her generals choices.

"I have something else for you as well _Heda_," Indra turned to the tent entrance and waved her hand, "_Komba_."

Lexa looked to the two Grounder men who stepped inside the tent heaving a large metallic object up and onto the table. They gave a small bow to her and she offered a head nod in return before they exited. Looking it over she finally offered her general a look of confusion, "What is it?"

"An oven." Indra replied with impassiveness.

"_Disha laik_, oven?"

"_Sha_."

"_Skaikru_ are strange and stupid," Lexa intoned, "There is no way a _raunon_ could fit inside of this contraption."

Indra nodded in agreement.

"_Teik we_."

Indra called the two Grounders back inside and ordered them to take the metallic object that the Sky People called an _oven_ away. Turning back to her Commander she asked, "Do you require my presence anymore _Heda_?"

Lexa nodded picking up a book and throwing it towards Indra, "Yes, I must find some other witty line."

Indra looked at her Commander with dubiety. "_Heda_?"

Lexa glanced up at the confusion on the woman's face. "Witty," she held up her book titled _1001 pick-up lines_, "this is witty."

Indra glanced down at her own _50 successful pick-up lines_ titled book. "I do not understand _Heda_."

"Nor _ai_." Lexa retorted opening up her own book and scanning over the pages, "But the one called Raven has assured me that being witty works and it appeared I succeeded yesterday."

Indra opened her mouth to question more but closed it and decided it was best to just leave it alone. She took to opening and reading her own book.

The morning seemed to pass by quickly, at first Lexa had taken to her throne, then to sitting on the table and even to sitting back against the tent. Eventually she had come to lay with her back on the table, Indra in a seat of her own, reading through the pages of her own book impassively.

"_Heda_?"

Not expecting Indra to speak, Lexa jumped in surprise a little, shooting upright into a sitting position. "_Sha_?"

"I believe I have found one appropriate which could be changed a little to help you."

Lexa nodded for the woman to continue, already buzzing with anticipation of being able to see Clarke's smile once again because of her ability to witty.

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Clarke."

Clarke turned her attention from watching Octavia sparring with Lincoln, to Lexa who was making her way over to her. Clarke gave her a warm smile, "Lexa." She had come to the Grounder camp hoping she could catch Lexa after having not been able to speak to her the previous day but she had been told by a couple of the Grounders that the Commander had closed herself of in her tent and was talking war strategies or something like it with Indra, honestly she still didn't understand half of Grounder speech so she had just nodded with whatever they had been saying.

Lexa stepped right up to the blonde so that she was standing front to front with the blonde skaikru leader.

"About yeste-"

"I'm new in town..."

Clarke's face screwed up in confusion. "This is your camp, Lexa, how could you be new to it?"

Lexa's own face scrunched up in thought. "_Dom yu_, Indra." She swore under hear breath, shaking it off she pressed forth reluctant to let that fact hamper her progress. "Could you give me directions to your tent?"

Clarke sighed, she now understood why Lexa had said what she said at first. "Lexa?"

"Yes, Clarke?" She asked, a hopeful smile on her own face.

"I don't have a tent here." Clarke replied, a tight lipped smile on her face as she pivoted and walked away.

Lexa frowned, that wasn't how this was supposed to go, "Indra!"


	4. Phone Call

**6 Days Earlier**

Lexa doesn't quite know how she ended up stranded with the job of chopping firewood for Winter with one Bellamy Blake.

It may have been the fact that she had been avoiding Indra because she hadn't wanted to kill her general but every time she saw her her hand itched to reach for her blade, so instead she had joined the firewood group.

That explained why she was chopping firewood but it didn't offer an explanation of why she was chopping it with Bellamy Blake.

"So..." Bellamy spoke up first after the forty-five minutes of silence, "...nice weather we are having right?"

Lexa glanced up at the boy before turning her gaze to the sky where the rain fell harshly upon them. Glancing back down at the boy she shot him a pointed look.

"Uh..."

Lexa shook her head and returned to chopping firewood, "If there is something you wish to speak about, Bellamy of the Sky People, ask, do not stutter around it."

Bellamy cleared his throat. "Right..."

Lexa waited abated for Bellamy's question and when none came for a while, the nagging sensation in the back of Lexa's mind caught up to her. "Bellamy-"

"Can I-"

The two paused neither wanting to continue, Bellamy in fear of making a mistake by interrupting the Commander of the Grounders, who knew whether that would result in decapitation or not and Lexa because she wanted to know what Bellamy had wanted from her.

Finally Lexa spoke up, "Continue Bellamy of the Sky People."

"Bellamy's fine." He said before returning to chopping wood, "I was wondering about you know..."

"Speak clearly Bellamy." Lexa told him, refusing to chop anymore wood until she had gotten what he wanted from her from him.

Bellamy struck the wood once more, wedging his axe within the log before he turned to face Lexa, taking a deep breath to solidify his courage. "You Grounders are different from us and I was just curious about your guys courting methods."

"Courting?"

"Yeah, like how to get someone to be with you...romantically," he added as an afterthought.

"Uh..." Lexa nodded her understanding, "We are talking about Echo, are we not?"

Bellamy returned to the axe indented into the log and heaved to pull it out. "I just don't want offend h-"

"Present her with a gift."

"Such as?"

Lexa thought about that for a moment. Grounder tradition for getting together with someone usually revolved around fighting and defeating the father or mother depending on who the strongest was of the two were, of the woman. Then the wife was to craft a weapon from scratch and present it to the man and he would then take it and kill a beast with it and present the fur of such beast to the woman. That of course worked in all ways, if two women wished to join than both were required to fight either the father or mother of the two and if two men wished to join then it was expected that the strongest of the two fight the others father.

She didn't think it was a good idea to voice such a thought though.

"Something with meaning to yourself should work." Lexa answered instead as she returned to her work.

Bellamy thought for a moment before questioning, "That's it? No killing of anything or anyone?"

Lexa considered telling him but quickly snapped her mouth shut, offered a tight smile and shake of her head.

Bellamy nodded, "Thanks."

The silence dragged on for a little while as the sounds of chopping wood filled the forest. Lexa reluctantly glanced up at the boy before turning back to the axe in her hand, wondering whether or not she should ask. Deciding that she had in fact helped the boy in some way she gathered up her courage and asked impassively.

"May I ask something of you as well?"

Bellamy glanced up in a little bit of shock, expecting that they would remain silent for the rest of the day after such a conversation. "Um...sure."

"I have found out a strange custom of your people's and was wondering if you could assist me with it."

Bellamy squinted in curiosity, "Exactly what custom?"

"I believe your people refer to it as pick-up lines."

Bellamy choked back a laugh, a few seconds later and it escaped in a deep flurry of laughter.

"What is so funny?"

Bellamy's laughter ground to halt almost immediately. He looked dead straight at the girl in front of him. "Wait, you're serious?"

"I am always serious."

Bellamy blinked once, twice, three times before he opened his mouth in an attempt to speak. He closed it shortly thereafter finding nothing to reply to that with.

Lexa dropped her axe beside the log. "Forget it, I will find someone else to be off assistance."

Bellamy snapped himself out of his stupor and reached for Lexa's arm pulling the Commander to a stop. "Wait."

Lexa glanced between the hand gripping her bicep and the boys face.

Bellamy released the Commander and held his hands up in apology. "Sorry, I didn't say I wouldn't help."

Lexa squinted her eyes slightly, "I do not wish to be the center of your amusement Bellamy."

"No...you won't be. I promise."

Lexa kept her gaze steady on him trying to gauge his sincerity. Satisfied he was telling the truth, she nodded and turned her full attention to him.

Bellamy nodded with a smile, glad he could help the Commander which in turn would help Clarke. "Well, how has it gone so far?"

Lexa's eyes shifted slightly, without looking at him she answered hesitantly not wanting to tell him the truth. "Fine."

Bellamy gave her a look of disbelief. "Right...well I'm positive this'll work."

Lexa didn't look entirely sure but still she nodded albeit doubtfully.

"It's been used on me before okay."

"And it worked?"

Bellamy nodded, "For the most part...anyway so you walk up to her, be confident..."

"I am always confident."

"..." Bellamy looked uncertainly at her but slowly gave her a nod, "Right...anyway walk up to her and be your confident self and go..." he cleared his throat, lent against the tree and said, "Do you have a quarter?"

"No." Lexa shook her head, "I do not even know what a _quarter_ is."

Bellamy pushed himself up off the tree, "No I wasn't really asking, that was part of the line."

"...oh," Lexa glanced around for a few seconds letting the awkward silence hang there before turning back to the boy, "Continue."

Bellamy nodded and started again. "Do you have a quarter? I told my ex-boyfriend that I would call him when I found someone better."

Lexa blinked at him a few times before opening her mouth to speak. "That will not work."

"How come?"

"I have never been with a man in any romantic capacity and I believe an _ex-boyfriend_ requires you to have had a male counterpart in the past."

Bellamy blinked as the woods went silent. Birds went silent, the trees stilled and axes stopped chopping. A few seconds passed, "...oh." Bellamy thought for a moment before supplying, "Then just change ex-boyfriend to ex-girlfriend," he nodded satisfied, "problem solved."

Lexa nodded before looking up at the boy with slight confusion. "What is a phone call?"

Bellamy scratched his head lightly, thinking off a way to explain it. "It's when you...make a call over a distance."

Lexa nodded in understanding. "Very well," she debated her next move before she extended her hand much like she had seen many Sky People do. "I thank you for your assistance Bellamy."

Bellamy smiled and took her hand, shaking it. "No problem. You helped me, so it was only right to help you back, plus we're all friends here, right?"

Lexa nodded, pulled her hand back, spun and started out of the forest.

Bellamy nodded happy for his friend Clarke and surprisingly the Commander as well. Smile on his face he turned back to the logs before realization hit him and he spun back around, "Wait, what about the woo-" he trailed off with a sigh, noting the Commander just continued walking away without so much as acknowledgement of him.

**-X-X-X-X-**

Lexa found Clarke later that day, she was luckily by herself sitting at one of the tables in what the Sky People referred to as the mess hall. She didn't understand, it was neither a hall nor messy. Shaking her head at the confusing Sky People, she focused on the blonde who sat sketchbook in hand, drawing contently within it. Lexa smiled a little at the sight.

Clarke twirled the pencil between her fingers until the eraser at the other end was pressed against the page. Scribbling lightly, she erased the rough edge on the grounder shoulder guard. She barely heard the sound of boots hitting dirt but the closer the intruder got, the louder the footsteps were.

"Clarke."

Clarke jumped at Lexa's voice and with lightening reflexes, dropped her pencil to the table and snapped her sketchbook shut. Spinning to face Lexa she gave the girl an embarrassed smile. "Hey, need something?"

Lexa nodded and remembering Bellamy's original posture, she lent against the table. "Do you have a quarter?"

"Um...we don't use quarters anymore."

Keeping her confident posture and tone, she pressed on. "I told my ex-girlfriend I would call her when I found someone better."

Clarke's face blanked. "Really?" Clarke sighed, this was honestly starting to get ridiculous. "Lexa, you don't even have a phone. Do you even know what a phone call is?"

Lexa pushed herself away from the table and nodded happily. "Of course I do. I do it all the time," at Clarke's look of disbelief, "Nyko!" Lexa called, "See?"

Clarke shook her head, picked her pencil and sketchbook up, stood up and walked away.

Lexa's brow furrowed. What had she said wrong?

"_Heda_?"

Lexa turned to face the voice and sighed, she already had enough on her plate as it was. "Was there something you required Nyko?"

"You called _heda_."

"What? No I di-" Lexa snapped her mouth shut before glancing up at the healer. "It is of unimportance, you can return to your duties."

"Are you sure _heda_?" Nyko asked hesitantly, not wanting to question his Commander.

"Mhmm," Lexa nodded and quickly made for Camp Jaha's exit.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	5. Fit-ting

**5 Days Earlier**

"Commander? You requested me."

Lexa glanced up from the book she was reading and nodded to her Grounder guards to let the young man pass.

Placing her book on the armrest of her throne she stood and motioned for the man to follow. "I find myself in dire need of some help."

"_Hed_-"

"And some people have proven incapable of giving it." Lexa commented, shutting Indra's protests down with a glare in the woman's direction.

"You I believe can be of assistance?" Lexa told him, stepping up to the massive oak table with spread out books on it.

"You have experience with courting a Sky Person."

"Courting?"

"You and Octavia are in love, are you not?"

Lincoln nodded.

"Good." She motioned him over to the table before she handed him one of the books. "Indra secured these from the _skaikru_ library."

"Pick-up lines?"

"Yes," Lexa confirmed. "They are witty."

"With all due respect _heda_, why are you attempting to be witty?"

"_Heda_ has fallen for_ Klark kom skaikru_."

"_Shof op_, Indra." Lexa ordered, "You have proved to be rather useless in this aspect and I am reconsidering letting you live. However, this is where you," she pointed the book she now held in Lincoln's direction, "come in."

"You want me to be witty to Clarke?"

Lexa shook her head and shot him a glare. "No. You have your own _skai prisa_."

Lincoln ducked his head out of respect but was confused as to what he was being asked.

Lexa turned back to her table. "I want you to help me find something that will garner the affections of Clarke."

"_Heda_ I think you al-"

"Nothing to do with ovens," Lexa said ignoring him. "Or tents," she shot Indra another glare before continuing, "or phone calls."

"Phone calls?"

"Nyko!"

"_Heda_?"

Lincoln jumped slightly when Nyko popped his head into the tent and quickly stepped inside. He gave the man a nod of acknowledgement.

Lexa held her head high in satisfaction of knowing at least one skaikru custom. "Nothing. You may return to your duties."

Nyko sighed under his breath, this had been the third time he had been randomly called by his Commander, first at Camp Jaha, second within the tent later that night when the only presence was Indra and now. Turning he exited the tent and left to attend to his duties thinking it better not to ponder over such things.

"That is a phone call."

Indra huffed, "_Skaikru_ have come up with strange words for such simple things."

Lexa nodded her agreeance. "Are you willing to assist me Lincoln? I will not force you too but it would be appreciated."

Lincoln could see the hopeful look in the young Commander's eyes. He couldn't turn his Commander down, not when it was one of the only times the woman had showed any sign of emotion that wasn't anger or hatred. "I will help."

"Good." Lexa motioned to the book he was holding, "Then find me something witty."

Indra stepped down from her spot beside the throne and together all three began their scanning of the paper books.

The sun had reached mid sky when Indra broke the silence. "_Heda_ I have on-"

"No."

A few moments later and Indra tried again only to be silenced by the Commander once again.

"How about, there is something wrong with my phone. It doesn't have your number in it?" Lincoln asked.

Lexa shook her head no. "I have established that I do in fact not own a phone."

"But you can make a phone call?" Lincoln asked.

Lexa nodded.

"Strange."

Lexa nodded again, as did Indra.

The silence continued for a while more and each time Indra opened her mouth with a suggestion, Lexa quickly shut her down.

"I think I have one_ heda_." Lincoln passed the book over to Lexa, thumbing the part he wished her to read.

Lexa took one glance over it and smiled in victory. "_Mochof_, Lincoln."

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Really?"

Clarke nodded. "Honestly, I'll kill them when I find them."

Raven glanced up nervously from what she guessed was supposed to be a sandwich. It didn't look like one. "Why? They may just be trying to help you both."

"Help me?" Clarke placed her sandwich back on the tray which was sitting on the bench in the courtyard of Camp Jaha. "Nyko!"

A few minutes passed before Nyko had stepped up beside Clarke. "You require something?"

"Sorry," Clarke apologized, "I was just trying to explain something to Raven. Didn't mean to disturb you. It's nothing."

Nyko sighed but left once more without questioning.

Clarke lent in closer to Raven and dropped her voice down to a whisper. "She thinks that is a phone call."

Raven snorted out a laugh at that but didn't press further when Clarke lent back into her seat, a glare aimed her way.

Sighing, Raven shrugged, "So maybe I..."

"You what?"

"Me? Did I say me?" Raven answered with a nervous chuckle that went unnoticed by Clarke as the blonde's attention quickly found focus on something over her shoulder. "Clar-"

"She's so ho-"

"Clarke."

Clarke snapped herself back to reality and sat up straighter in the no back bench table, "Lexa."

Lexa stepped up to Clarke's side, rolled her shoulders and begun. "I got my armor in Extra-Large..."

Clarke's eyes ran down over the girls body before returning to her face, "You really don't need an ext-"

"...just so I could fit both of us in here. What do you say?"

Clarke's face fell. "Seriously Lexa? Who is giving you these?"

Lexa opened her mouth to reply but the fear widened eyes of Raven over Clarke's shoulder and the girls furious motions with her hands and the harsh shake of her head told her that Raven didn't want Clarke to know the answer to that, either it was that or the woman was having some kind of attack.

Lexa returned her eyes to Clarke. "Does that mean a yes, Clarke?"


	6. Are You Tired?

**4 Days Earlier**

"I want to help."

Lexa glanced up from the strange Sky People meal in front of her and to the man now sliding into the seat across from her with a smirk on his face. She gave him a blank look, it was almost the middle of the night and she was sat with very few others in the Sky People's mess hall. She still didn't get why they called it a _mess hall_ it was never messy and it still wasn't a hall.

"You know," Wick pressed.

"I do believe I don't, Wick of the Sky People." She glanced back down at her food, "Why are the Sky People's carrots purple?"

"Um..." Wick took a moment to process the question before answering, "The same reason there are purple potatoes."

Lexa's head snapped up to him. "You have purple potatoes?"

Wick shook his head and continued away from that conversation, "I want to help."

Lexa sighed, pushing her purple carrots to the edge of the plate before returning to the other strange foods on her plate. "Once again, I do not know what you are referring to."

"The pick-up lines."

Lexa flicked her eyes to him, "How exactly can you assist me?"

"I'm charming, just ask Raven."

Lexa eyed him for a few moments before glancing back down at her plate. "What is this?"

Wick glanced down to it and answered, "Egg plant, I think."

A look of shock crossed Lexa's features as she jerked her head up to look at Wick. "Your people can grow eggs from plants?"

"What?" Wick shook his head, "No. It's called a-"

"This is amazing." Lexa whispered before glancing back down at the odd morsel of food on her plate. "An egg entirely of plant."

Wick opened his mouth to correct the girl before shaking his head and deciding to leave that where it was. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, to what?" Lexa asked, taking her eyes briefly of the plate to once again focus on him.

"To helping you with pick-up lines."

Lexa eyed the man curiously. Currently she had no idea of how she would be witty to Clarke next and she did require help but she had no one else she could think off to turn to. "Very well, you may assist me."

"Awesome." Wick smirked, clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "Alright, so, I've got a brilliant idea for one." He rolled his shoulder and started, "Are you a spaceman-"

"No, but you are. I am from the ground."

Wick stared at the blank look Lexa was giving him before he shook his head. "That one won't work. Next." He cleared his throat once and began, "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name."

"Eyes do not speak, Wick of the Sky People." Lexa told him bluntly, she had gathered from the Sky People's whispers that this Wick was supposed to be smart, so far she was wondering what the Sky People called dumb if this was smart.

"That didn't work either," Wick whispered to himself before shooting Lexa a small smile and trying again. "Is that a ladder in your pants? Or a stairway to Heaven?"

Lexa blinked as Wick smirked at her. "I have no idea what Heaven is and you are not able to fit a ladder within you pants." Lexa told him before standing up and collecting her plate of strange food.

Wick gave her a look of confusion before shaking it off once the Commander stood to leave. "Wait! Where are you going?"

"Away from here and you, and I will be taking these purple carrots and egg plant with me."

Wick jumped to his feet and pleaded to the Commander's retreating form, "Wait! Just one more...please."

Lexa sighed and turned back to the man. "Very well, one more, Wick of the Sky People."

Wick nodded, a small and hopeful smile on his face.

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Clarke."

"Mmmm," Clarke mumbled deep in sleep, "Lexa."

Lexa smiled at the low rumbling sounds of a sleeping Clarke. She took her seat on the edge of the girls bed and brushed a strand of hair from her face before trying again, "Clarke."

Clarke's eyes fluttered open and she almost had a heart attack on the spot before realizing that it was Lexa sitting beside her. She blinked a few more time's, a blush creeping onto her face as her eyes adjusted to the light. "Lexa?"

"Are you tired?"

Clarke nodded sleepily, "A little. If you are, you're welcome to stay here. I mean...it saves you a trip in the dark back to your tent." Clarke said stumbling over her words a little.

"Because you have been running through my mind all day."

Clarke stopped, groaned, rolled over onto her side bringing the pillow with her. She buried her head underneath it and groaned in disbelief. "Goodnight, Lexa!"

Lexa's brow furrowed in confusion. "You just said I could stay the night."

"Goodnight, Lexa!"

"Does this mean I am not allowed to stay the night?"

"Goodnight, Lexa!" Clarke reiterated, head still buried underneath the pillow.

**For those of you reading "Draw a Map" as well, I had plans to update today but almost halfway through the chapter the power went out when a tree collapsed up the road from us and took out the power line, the chapter wasn't saved, so I won't be able to get the update done today but it should be up by tomorrow.**

**Hope you enjoyed this.**


	7. Hi, She's Mine

**I kind of actually, sought of, got carried away a little with this chapter. By the end, I don't even know anymore but I made myself laugh so I figured that was good.**

**Trigedasleng is not my first language, so pardon the mistakes.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

**3 Days Earlier**

Lexa with nothing else to do until the rest of her people arrived later on today, watched on with interest as the goggled wearing boy smiled and simply managed to garner the affections of one of those from within the Mountain who had assisted in it's defeat. It had taken a while and quite a few donations of bone marrow but those who had assisted them had been able to walk on the Earth eventually with no fear of radiation.

Lexa had figured that for their help they were to be spared any punishment, some had disagreed but Lexa had silenced them rather quickly.

"Commander, what's up?"

Lexa turned towards the interruption before looking up. "Coming from the sky I do believe you should know that, Raven of the Sky People."

Raven slid into the spot beside Lexa. "That wasn't meant to be taken literally." She told her, "What I meant was, what are you doing?"

Lexa turned back to face the boy and the object of his attention. "Learning, the one you refer to as Jasper is rather talented in getting a girls attention. She is what I believe you call _hooked_ which makes no sense. Hooking someone is rather painful."

"Right, _talented_." Raven said with a scoff before rolling her eyes. "Hooked means, to be enamored, which Maya is."

"Enamored?"

"It means to be filled with love for." Raven racked her brain for an example before providing, "Like you are for Clarke. Like you are for egg plant."

Lexa shifted in her seat a little. "I have no idea what you are referring too."

"Clarke or the egg plant, because it's pretty obvious when it comes to Clarke and the egg plant randomly seems to go missing after you leave the kitchen."

"It is delicious."

Raven smirked. "Mhmm, once again Clarke or the egg plant?"

Lexa gave her a confused look. "I am not a reaper, so why would Clarke be delicious?"

"Because..." The real look of confusion and slight disgust on Lexa's face told Raven it was probably best not to answer that, "Never mind."

Lexa caught sight of Jasper and Maya breaking apart and knew it was her chance to strike. She stood, "It has been a pleasure talking to you Raven of the Sky People but I must depart now."

Raven nodded and watched the Commander leave before it hit her. What she had come over to see the Commander with in the first place, she had planned to explain witty and pick-up lines weren't really the best idea to attempt to woo someone. She decided whether to chase after the Grounders Commander or not. Shrugging she kept sitting, as long as Clarke's war path didn't reach her, she was fine and dandy.

Lexa followed behind the boy quietly for a short time until she was able to corner him in a partly covered area of Camp Jaha. "Jasper of the Sky People." She grinned in satisfaction when he jumped into the air and spun to face her an utter look of terror on his face.

"Uh...he-hey."

"You are Jasper, are you not?"

"Ye-yeah."

Taking a small amount of pity on him, she gave him a small nod and said. "I am not here to hurt you."

"Really?"

Lexa nodded in assurance. "In fact I am here to ask you for help."

"Oh..." Jasper trailed off, trying to hide his nerves. He had heard of the Commander both the good and frightening parts. Currently in the back corner of Camp Jaha with no one around, he was most worried about the latter. "What wi-with?"

Lexa circled him as she spoke. "You seem to be rather skilled with gathering a girl's attention and earning their affections."

The nerves left Jasper almost immediately and a cocky grin replaced his nervous smile from before. "Well...I do have my ways."

"I wish for you to share those ways with me."

"Well there is one thing you could try. I used it a lot whilst I was on the Ark."

"And it worked?"

"Uh...well n-"

"I must know what it is." Lexa interrupted.

Jasper closed his mouth for a few moments debating on whether to tell her the truth or not. He shrugged internally, there was no harm done with having someone think of him as a professional love guru when it came to picking up the ladies. "Well, get ready to have your mind blown."

**-X-X-X-X-**

Lexa wasn't entirely sure this was going to work, or even what the point of it was. Grounder's never did such a thing but Jasper had assured her that it was the best way to secure anyone of the female gender's affections. It was considered...romantic. Lexa honestly could not see how.

Lexa entered the camp courtyard, in the distance she could see her people arriving. She had to move fast if this was to work like the goggle wearing boy had told her. She caught sight of Clarke sitting at a table with Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Bellamy and although she would be having words with Bellamy sometime in the near future, right now she had one goal in mind and the boy was not it.

She quickly made her way towards them as the gates opened. She pulled to a frantic stop in front of the blonde just as Jasper had informed her she should do. "Clarke..."

Clarke sighed, "Lexa, how do you manage to have one every single da-"

She caught sight of Lincoln, Bellamy and Raven sinking a little into their chairs, shaking it off she told her. "I must ask you for assistance."

Clarke glanced up from her hands folded on the table and over at Lexa's harried appearance. Concern edged her voice as she asked, "What's wrong, Lexa?"

Lexa glanced around, shifted her feet a little just as Jasper had showed her. "One of my previous lovers is arriving in the camp and word has reached me that she is going to attempt to ask me to be hers," she caught sight of Lincoln's curious gaze, she panicked a little but he said nothing.

"Previous lovers?" Clarke's brow creased. "One of? You mean there's more than one?"

Lexa shook her head as Clarke's gaze shifted back to the table. "That is not the point Clarke. I must ask for your assistance."

Clarke muted her glare before turning to the Commander and giving her a nod. "Just have to ask, Lexa."

"Would you hold my hand?" Lexa asked, "It should deter her enough if I am seen holding hands with _Klark kom Skaikru_, leader of the Sky People."

Raven grinned, impressed, a small clap with no real noise aimed the Commander's way.

Clarke opened her mouth but words betrayed her.

"Lexa!"

Clarke, the table and Lexa both turned to face the voice.

"It is good to see you," the woman stepped forward and quickly pulled Lexa into an embrace.

Clarke glared as the Commander returned it. The moment the two had retracted from the embrace, Clarke's hand shot out to Lexa's, grasping it in hers, she pulled the girl down next to her.

Lexa, fell into the seat. This wasn't what she had planned, she wasn't supposed to be here. She turned her attention to the blonde who was shooting daggers in the other woman's direction, perhaps it was good she was, the plan would hopefully go better then before if she used this to her advantage, her gaze drifted over to Lincoln who was still giving her a rather odd look over the top of the small smile he was shooting the woman's way.

Lexa turned back, offered a weak smile and nodded. "You too."

"And this must be_ Klark kom Skaikru_?"

Before Lexa could answer that, Clarke spoke up. "Yeah, that's right. I'm Clarke, leader of the Sky People and the person who helped take out Mount Weather."

The woman offered her a curious gaze at the blonde's cold tone before shrugging it off as one of the many odd sky traditions both Lexa and Lincoln had sent her messages about.

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Yep."

Lexa almost yelped in surprise when the blonde's hand squeezed her's a little tighter. Much tighter.

The woman's gaze dropped down to the joined hands and with a small scoff of laughter and a smile in Lexa's direction she said. "_Hodnes laik kwelness_?" She mocked lightly, "_sha rit_."

Lexa held her breath until the woman had disappeared into the crowd of Grounders and Sky People. She shot a glare over her shoulder at both Lincoln and Octavia who were chuckling amongst themselves, Lincoln slid a little bit further into his seat then before at the glare and Octavia immediately clamped her mouth shut.

Lexa turned back to Clarke, "Thank you, Clarke. This has been very fulfilling." She attempted to pull her hand from the blonde's grasp but the girl held, stronger then before.

"What happens if she comes back?" Clarke asked.

"Wel-"

"You must be prepared." Clarke interrupted, "I'll stay by your side until she leaves."

Lexa glanced down at her hand and Clarke's entwined together. She still had no idea what the point was with holding hands, such a strange tradition among the Sky People that she had never seen amongst her people but Clarke's hand was nice and warm so she wouldn't mind finding out what the point was.

So with a tiny smile, she turned and sat contently with the group at the table, still holding onto Clarke's hand and if she managed to intimidate Bellamy Blake of the Sky People into squeaking like a mouse on more than one occasion, it would just be that little bit more extra added to her already good day.

**-X-X-X-X-**

True to her word, Clarke had stuck by Lexa's side for almost the entire day. The woman had held onto Lexa's hand like a lifeline until she had been called to duty in the medical bay and even then it had taken a lot of convincing and maybe some forceful prying from Raven's side to get Clarke to leave her.

A lifeline that she was positive was about to be snapped, if Clarke's furious gaze as she walked towards her was anything to go by.

Lexa glanced around herself wondering if there was an escape route close by but the camp was still pretty new to her and the Sky People used strange pictures on metal they called them _signs_ and were used to tell them where everything was. Honestly, Lexa found it much simpler to have a sign saying '_exit this way_'.

Finding no exit, she sucked in a deep breath and turned to face her fate.

"Really?" Clarke asked her, as she stepped up to her. "I don't know whether to be furious at you or not. I mean that was really really smooth, Lexa, I'm actually sought of impressed. I mean I didn't even catch on. It took Jasper asking me...and I quote '_did Lexa manage to pick you up_?'..."

Lexa made a mental note to track down Jasper later...and Maya to, apparently it was custom amongst Sky People to apologize for harming or killing the others romantic interest, she assumed it was the custom of those from the Mountain as well.

"Clarke..."

Clarke shook her head, held her hand up to silence the Commander and told her. "No, don't apologize..." Clarke paused for a moment before adding, "...because after I've killed Jasper, your pick-up line supplies will be gone."

Lexa thought it best not to mention, Raven, Indra, Bellamy, Lincoln or Wick...maybe she'd mention Indra and Bellamy.

"We will talk later."

Lexa watched as Clarke pivoted on her heel and stormed away with a slight huff.

"Trouble in what these Sky People call _paradise_?"

Lexa froze, her body becoming rigid. It took a moment before movement returned to her and she turned to face the woman, "I have no idea what you are talking about." Denial, always worked.

"Don't lie to me, Lexa. Lincoln told me and although I'm not sure how such ridiculous sayings work...I mean how does a person fit in an oven?"

Maybe not.

Lexa sighed, "I have informed you on numerous occasions of the Sky People's strange customs and beliefs, Luna."

Luna nodded, a little disbelief etched onto her face. "I mean they have such complicated names for such simple things...such as a _phone call_."

Lexa nodded her agreement.

"Never mind, I am here to assist you my friend." Luna told her.

Lexa smiled her thanks to the woman but frowned a little. "But I am afraid that I have run out of ideas and people to ask."

Luna shook her head and added determined to help her long time friend. "Then we must find others to ask."

**Hope you enjoyed this.**

**Hodnes laik kwelness - Love is weakness**  
**sha rit - yeah right**


	8. It Lasts Longer

**We are just one more chapter away from the events in Chapter 1.**

**I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for reading and reviewing. I love all of you guys and girls comments.  
**

**-X-X-X-X-**

**2 Days Earlier**

"Are you certain?"

Luna nodded, "He assures me that he is able to help."

"And what did he request in return."

"Mercy on Jasper," Luna answered.

Lexa thought that through for a minute before nodding her acquiesce. "Very well," she turned to face Lincoln, "Find Jasper of the Sky People and assure him that I will not torture him and instead offer him a quick death."

Lincoln frowned. "I don't believe that is what he meant_ heda_."

Lexa sighed. "I know. Find Jasper and tell him that he may come out of hiding, I will not harm him."

"Bellamy, too?" Lincoln asked, worried about Octavia's brother.

Lexa shook her head. "He was not part of the deal."

Lincoln sighed. It was worth the effort. He bowed slightly and left the two women to their small huddle in the corner of Camp Jaha.

Luna watched as Lincoln left before turning back to the Commander. "Is Indra no longer your General?"

Lexa fixed her shoulders and stood straighter as she answered. "Indra is being punished."

"Punished?"

Lexa nodded but did not give any more details on the situation before she asked, "Where will I find this Monty?"

Luna motioned for the girl to follow her. "This way."

Lexa and Luna crossed Camp Jaha, acknowledging the numerous hails that came their way as they weaved in between groups of Grounders and Sky People. Lexa followed Luna to a back part of the Sky People's camp and past Raven's shack, she had almost barged into the shack when pleading sounds and small screams had sounded from within but the closer she got the more she considered it to just be another strange tradition of the Sky People's, so instead of interrupting she returned to following Luna.

The two pulled to a stop out front of the tiny building.

"How shall we do this?"

Lexa scoffed, "The Sky People are easily frightened, though I have not met this Monty."

"I have," Luna told her. "I believe fear should work."

Lexa nodded. "Very well."

A few moments later and both Luna and Lexa came barging through the door in a determined pose and stride.

"Nailed it!" Monty yelled cheerfully as he jumped into the air.

Luna and Lexa shared a small look of confusion between one another before turning to face the boy.

"What is _nailed it_? You have no nails in your hands, nor have you hammered anything." Luna asked.

Monty jumped and quickly ducked back behind his computer table at the intimidating sight of the two. "Com-Commander? Luna?" He watched as they both raised an eyebrow his way in question. "Oh...uh...it means to ha-have scored, um...done something successfully, to get something right."

"Still no nails or a hammer," Luna mumbled,

"Are you Monty of the Sky People?" Lexa asked over Luna's mumble. She had had a little more practice with the strange Sky People than Luna had, it would take the East Sea Clan's leader a little time to accept these people's strange customs, ways and speech.

"Uh...ju-just, Monty."

Lexa nodded. "Very well, just Monty. I believe you have something for me, do you not?"

"No I meant it's, Monty."

"I knew that." Lexa intoned, "The question still stands, Monty."

Monty nodded in realization of what this was about, "And Jasper?"

Lexa took a step forward, "Will not be harmed, upon your success of course."

Monty nodded a little but his nerves were eating him up inside.

"Begin, Monty." Luna ordered him, "The Commander does not like to be kept waiting."

Monty swallowed but obeyed. "Uh...well before Jasper went to hide, he uh...informed me about you trying out pickup line's. I have a few, I figure if one of them get's you Clark-"

Lexa cut him off and asked with a hint of her own nerves, "Who said this was about Clarke?"

"I just as-assumed."

"You would be wise not to assume to know anything of what the Commander is thinking or intending." Luna told him.

Monty nodded.

A brief moment of awkward silence field the small room before both Lexa's and Luna's brows raised in question at the boys continued silence.

He got the message loud and clear, "Right, well, uh..." he cleared his throat, "um...let me find the pa-aha!" he cheered a little as he slid the paper out from under the computer monitor. "Well um, how about..."

"This is taking far too long," Lexa whispered to herself and turned to face Luna. "Find the one called Jasper an-"

"Wait, wait, I have one."

Luna turned back to the boy. "Then you should speak quickly before the Commander decides it best to rid Jasper of his life and perhaps yours as well."

"Okay, okay." Monty returned his gaze back to the paper in his hands, "Is your name Google?"

"My name is, Luna, you should know that as I was here before." Luna turned to face Lexa, "This is foolish, this boy has memory loss and is of no use."

Lexa held her hand up to silence her. "I believe this is the beginning of his pickup line."

Monty nodded.

"Then continue, Monty of-continue." Lexa ordered him.

"Is your name Google?" He quickly spat out, paused for a second and waited for any interruptions before continuing, "Because you have everything I've been searching for."

The silence was dead quiet, even the fans within the computers had gone quiet.

A few more moments of silence passed before Luna spoke first. "If he is not asking for my name, then what is Google?"

"I believe it is what the one called Jasper wears on his head." Lexa answered with a furious shake of her head, "and I do not want that."

"Google, not goggle. It's a website they used to have in the time before the bombs dropped." Monty corrected them but the look of confusion ob both the Grounder's faces were enough to make him continue. "Um...alright moving on. What's a nice girl like you doing in a chat-room like this?"

"Chatting," Luna answered with no humor in her tone. She took a step closer to Lexa and bent to whisper in the girls ear, "Are all Sky People this dumb?"

Lexa nodded. "But they did make eggs from plants..."

Luna shot her a look of disbelief, "Impossible."

"I have tasted it for myself. It is rather delicious.

"I must see this for myself."

"I will get you some tonight."

"Uh..."

Lexa and Luna turned their attention back to the boy.

"Continue," Luna ordered him.

Monty nodded, "Is your name Wi-fi?"

"We have been over this, my name is Luna."

Monty sighed. "This isn't working."

"Then you should say sensible things." Lexa told him.

"I-" the challenging looks shot his way shut him up. He wanted to save his friend but not at the cost of his own life. "Fine, uh..." he scanned his desk before his eyes fell onto an object on the corner of it. He shuffled over to it and picked it up replacing the paper with it, "This is a camera," he told them slowly earning nods, "it takes pictures."

"Like, Clarke's drawings?" Lexa inquired.

Monty nodded his head side to side, "Similar." He pointed the camera at Lexa and almost had a heart attack when the other woman in the room's blade touched the skin of his neck. "I'm just demonstrating," he squeaked.

Luna turned to glance back at her Commander who gave her a nod to resheathe her weapon. She did so but did not move from the boys personal space.

Monty swallowed lifted the camera slowly and snapped a photo of the Commander. It took a little time before the photo slid out of the bottom compartment but when it did, Monty retrieved it, shook it a little and handed it to Luna.

Luna took it hesitantly. She felt the paper like material in her hands warily as she eyed the boy in front of her. Satisfied it would do her or the Commander no harm, she glanced down at it. "I-I-I..." she stuttered for one of the very rare times in her life.

"What is it, Luna?"

Luna glanced back up at the boy, anger falling onto her face as she reached for her sword hilt.

"Luna!" Lexa yelled at her before she could unsheathe the weapon.

"He has trapped your soul within it this," Luna extended her none sword hand with photo held out to Lexa. "How have you done such a thing? You will return it immediately."

"I-I-I..."

Lexa stepped up to the two and took the photo from her friend. She glanced over it a few times before she looked back to the stuttering boy. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It's a picture," Monty explained.

"These are not pictures, Clarke draws pictures."

Monty shook his head, "These things capture real life pictures," he tried to explain, "no drawing, you just press the button on top and it takes what we call a photo and you can keep it for life. Or at least a long time."

"It does not capture ones soul?" Luna asked hesitantly.

Monty shook his head aggressively feeling like one of those bobble heads that Jasper had found within Mount Weather. "No, it just creates a picture of the person or thing you take it off."

"And it lasts forever?" Lexa asked curious.

Monty shrugged a little, "Not forever forever but for a long time." He motioned to the camera in his hands, "I've heard a line about the camera when I was on the Ark, I figured you may be able to use it."

Lexa looked towards Luna and nodded for her to take a step back before turning back to the boy. "What was this line you heard?"

"Uh...I think it went something like...Can I have your picture?" He motioned to the camera once again and smiled when they nodded in understanding, "so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

"Who is Santa?" Lexa questioned.

"What is Christmas?" Luna questioned.

"Um...well Christmas is a time of gift giving and Santa brings these gifts." Monty explained, "He dresses in these red clothes and delivers random gifts to children on the night before Christmas, nobody sees him and nobody knows him."

"He is a stranger?" Luna asked in disbelief.

Lexa shook her head, "I cannot believe your people would allow a stranger to enter the place in which you live while they are sleeping so that he may give gifts of the unknown to their children."

"Uh...what?"

"We would have his head," Luna told the boy. "He would never get within distance of our children or our tents if it were us. Our men and women would stay awake to protect their children and if he managed to slip passed us, we would hunt him down until we found him and he would be given death by a thousand cuts for such an act."

"Our children are precious," Lexa told him. "Do your people not think the same of theirs?"

"No...no...no."

Luna and Lexa shared a wide eyed look before turning back to the boy.

"Your children shall not be harmed or our alliance will break," Lexa warned him.

"Where is this man? We will send a search party at your order _heda_, to track him down and kill him."

"I meant yes, children are precious to us but Santa isn't real!" Monty called out, silencing the two women. "He's not real. We tell children he is-"

"Ah..." Lexa nodded in understanding and turned to Luna who was still looking on confused. "They tell the children to instill fear within them, so that they are weary of strangers. Much like we tell our children of the maunon. Mountain men," she reiterated at the look of confusion the boys face.

"No he's not scar-" Monty paused as both women turned their attentions to him. He sighed and decided it best not to attempt to explain, "Never mind." His shoulder's slumped in defeat, "I have nothing else."

Luna nodded. "Then the deal is off..."

"Wait," Lexa silenced Luna, "I have an idea...may I have the ca-me -ra?" Lexa asked trying to attempt to wrap her tongue around the word.

"Uh...sure," Monty handed the camera of to the Commander of the Grounders.

Lexa took it and offered a grateful nod to the boy. "In between your bumbling and strange sayings and unsafe culture, I have come up with an idea and I must thank you for the assistance Monty of the Sky People, your friend Jasper will not be harmed."

Monty sighed in relief before a look of confusion crossed his features at the Commander's words.

Lexa nodded and motioned for Luna to follow her.

"We will return if this endeavor proves to be foolish." Luna told him, shooting the boy a glare as she left.

Monty rubbed his forehead, glad to have that encounter over and done with. Never again would he attempt to save Jasper's life. Never again.

**-X-X-X-X-**

Lexa strolled towards the seated blonde who was eating along with Raven and Octavia. No eggplant she noticed. She had informed Luna to wait at the other end of the camp, as she did not want Clarke to be reminded of the previous day as today was a different day.

She neared closer and as she did so, she noticed Octavia say something to Clarke who shot her head around to face her, telling her that Octavia had informed the blonde Sky Leader of her approach. She would have to have words with Octavia about the girls allegiances later.

"Lexa," Clarke spoke a cocky-grin on her face, "I didn't think I'd see you for at least a little while after I had dealt with your little pick up line suppli-"

Lexa raised the camera and pointed it towards Clarke, she pressed the button much like Monty had said and done and the flash went off.

Clarke blinked a few times at the sudden flash of white. She turned to her two friends who offered a shrug before she turned back to Lexa and asked. "Did you just take my photo?"

Lexa nodded.

"How do you even have a camera?" Raven asked, "I didn't think Grounder's even knew what they were."

"I've never seen a Grounder with one." Octavia added.

Lexa retrieved the photo as it slid from the bottom of the camera, she shook it as Monty had done and smiled, satisfied at the picture. She looked back up at Clarke and smiled a little more, "I thank you for the picture Clarke."

Clarke eyed the girl warily for a few moments before hesitantly speaking up, "I'm going to regret asking this but...why did you want my picture?"

Lexa offered her a tiny warm smile as she answered, "So that when you are away from me or I am away from you, I may still carry you everywhere with me and still gaze into your eyes and see the stars and moon from which you came."

Satisfied with the sudden silence and wide eyes, Lexa nodded to the blonde, then at Raven and Octavia before moving to leave. She pulled to a stop and turned to face Octavia, "Indra will not be with you for a couple of days. You will train with others and myself in the coming days instead until she is returned to you." She informed her before leaving as she had planned.

"She's good, oh so good." Raven spoke breaking the silence and watching the girl leave, "Slightly creepy but still good."

Clarke blinked a few times, opening and closing her mouth in an attempt to speak but came off resembling a fish out of water. She shook her head lightly and turned to watch Lexa leave, a small smile tipped the corners of her own lips. "That...that was actually rather sweet."

Octavia made the sound and motion of a cracking whip and earned a rather big kick to the shin from Clarke and a laugh from Raven.

Lexa continued over towards where she had instructed Luna to be and found the girl patiently waiting as she stared confused at some of the Sky People who were moving a round object around with their feet and were fighting over it with their feet.

Luna turned at the sound of footsteps heading her way and smiled on sight at her friend. She raised an eyebrow in question as the girl neared.

Lexa smirked, nodded and answered. "Nailed it."

**Also, if you have any idea for pick up lines feel free to message me on here or on Tumblr at RealBlackHelix about them. I'm always willing to have more ideas given to me. **

**I was given an idea for the next chapter by Chuckleshan, the idea I think will fit perfectly.**


	9. A-Pen!

**I was supposed to update yesterday but I got a migraine that just sucked everything funny out of me, I couldn't enjoy writing and I didn't want to write something and post without giving it at least seventy to eighty percent which is what I am at right now. Hopefully it's good enough.**

**This chapter idea is credited to Chuckleshan.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

**1 Day Earlier**

"Commander."

Lexa tilted her head as she watched the girl make her way through her tent, a box in hand with a slight waiver in her step. "You are Monroe of the Sky People, are you not?"

"Uh..." Monroe nodded, "Yep."

Lexa remembered the girl as one of the Sky People who had actually managed to do something of use within her camp. She had a respect for the girl who had saved a few of her people during the war with Mountain. "Are you injured?"

"Hmm," Monroe glanced down at her leg at the nod in that direction from the Commander, realization crossed her face and she shook her head with a slight chuckle, "No, I just had to have my leg put back into place, I fell of a horse the other day attempting to learn to ride one. It was painful."

"I see."

Monroe lifted the box up and onto the table.

"Your people still expect you to lift heavy things?"

Monroe shrugged, "Have to make myself useful somehow."

Lexa could respect that. No weakness shown, she liked that.

"Hey, so that's where these have all vanished too."

Lexa's head tilted in the other direction. "What has vanished?"

"These pick up line books." Monroe lifted one from the table and waved it at Lexa, "These are great."

Lexa squinted in curiously at the girl. She considered denying such accusations but decided against it.

"You know of these?" Monroe nodded. "Get this, I went in to the medic bay this morning to get my leg popped back into place and I see this cute doctor, so I figured, why not?"

"Why not?" "Yeah, why not use one." Monroe shrugged. "So I went, I sucked it up and said, my sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you."

Lexa gave Monroe a complete look of confusion. "I do not know what that is."

"Nor do I," Monroe told her honestly, "But it worked."

Lexa lent forward, elbows on thighs. "You succeeded in garnering their affections?"

Monroe nodded, "Yep."

"Hmm."

"Why? You have your eye on someone?"

"I have my eye on many." Lexa retorted.

"Woah," Monroe smirked, "A woman who has a broad range, I can respect that."

"Six hundred and thirty of your Earth meters with a bow and arrow to be exact. Killed him instantly."

Monroe blanked for a second before she considered the conversation. "I don't think we are talking about the same thing here." Monroe motioned between them, "When I said eye on someone I meant roma-" Monroe took a step back in surprise, "Wait a minute, you're pick up line person Clarke's been either frustrated or google eyes about."

"Goggles."

"What?"

"Goggles, not googles. Goggles are for the eyes and google is something that apparently everyone wants. A ridiculous notion, I do not want it."

"Okay, I have no idea what we're talking about right now." Monroe tried again to rephrase, "I meant, Clarke's kinda mad about your pick up lines some days but like yesterday, she walked around with this smile on her face for hours. Seriously we thought the sayings about keeping your face like that and the wind changing to the point it would remain like that were true."

"Clarke was happy?"

Monroe nodded. "You could say ecstatic or walking on cloud nine."

Lexa lent back in slight shock, "Clarke can walk on clouds?"

"N-"

"I did not think it possible but I do not doubt Clarke's abilities to be able to walk on clouds. She is pure and only the pure can."

"Okay, fluff overload."

Lexa's forehead crinkled, "Fluff?"

Monroe shook her head. That path would lead her on an adventure she wasn't really ready for. "So what's your next idea for Clarke?" She asked instead.

"Nothing for the moment," Lexa told her, "Luna is out scouting for assistance."

Monroe nodded with a small smirk, "I heard about Jasper and about Monty." Monroe placed the book back on the table before offering, "You know, I could help."

"Really?"

Monroe nodded. "I'd need sanctuary if Clarke ever caught me."

"Sanctuary?"

"Safety, shelter."

"Very well."

Monroe smiled again, "Awesome, so tell me. What have you used so far?"

A frown of confusion appeared on her face, "Many things, knives, swo-"

"No, I meant what pick up lines have you used?"

"Oh," Lexa thought for a moment, thinking over each line. "I have used many."

"Tell me all of them."

It took a little longer than expected. Monroe had done more explaining than anything else and it had taken Monroe most of that time trying to explain that an eggplant was not actually an egg - she was pretty sure Lexa didn't believe her.

"Well there's your problem," Monroe said after Lexa had relayed the last line about photographs.

"Problem?"

Monroe nodded. "The things that have made Clarke smile have a certain way about them. Though I do have to admit the last one, way smooth and Jasper's wasn't that ba-wait, is this why Bellamy's hiding out in the med bay all the time."

Lexa didn't answer.

Monroe sighed, "Look, you can't just kill people because they don't help you properly."

"Yes I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes...I...Can."

Monroe sighed again before shaking her head and continuing with her previous line of thought. "Look, Clarke is a doctor right?"

"Yes, she is an efficient healer."

"Then use that against."

"Why would I wish to us-"

"I meant, use a pick up line that mentions her being a doctor. It's classy and it shows you care." Monroe told her, cutting her off before they would end up in another debate.

Lexa thought this through for a moment before nodding in agreement. "I can see the benefits of such a suggestion."

"Awesome. I've got a good one for you."

**-X-X-X-X-**

Lexa entered the medical bay of Camp Jaha and quickly found Clarke in the corner of the room writing something on a board. She spotted Bellamy as well, the boy spotted her too and quickly excused himself and with a smile of satisfaction on her own face she watched him leave. She made her way over to the girl who looked up from her board with a smile on her face.

"Lexa, he-"

"Are you my appendix?"

Clarke's smile fell, a look of dread replacing it. "Not again."

"Because I do not understand how you work...although I have been informed it has nothing to do with one of those strange objects called a pen..."

Clarke groaned and face palmed. "Why me?"

"But I have this feeling in my stomach which makes me want to take you out..." Lexa paused with a small hesitant smile before she quickly added. "I do however not want anything removed from my stomach."

Clarke turned and started away from the girl.

"Cl-"

"I think you're going about this the wrong way."

Lexa spun to face the voice. "Abigail of the Sky People. How may I assist yo-"

"I think I can assist you."

**I thank all of you for your suggestions on pick up lines. I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to get to all of them but I assure you I will try in the coming chapters. **

**P.S. I have a feeling you all are going to enjoy Chapter 11.**

**Hope you enjoyed this.**


	10. Wait! You're Oven?

**Like to make a note to those who don't realize yet that every Chapter from Chapter 2 onwards to Chapter 9 has taken place 8 days before Chapter 1. This chapter now takes place the day after Chapter 1. So if you want to find out about Abby's pick up line, please read Chapter 1. Thank you.**

**Just like to put forward as well that this chapter has a little more drama, maybe some angst and definitely some more serious undertone to it at the end but it helps set up the next Chapter beautifully or so I hope.**

**Hope you liked it.**

**This Chapter is in thanks to Murdokthewonderfiend who supplied this idea for a pick up line.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

**1 Day After (Chapter 1):**

Lexa was on a mission, her feet thudding against the ground as she scanned her own camp for the one person she was positive could help her. If not, her chance to be with Clarke was gone and she couldn't let that happen.

"_Heda_," Luna said with a tiny bow. "How goes your hunt for more assistance? Mine has bore nothing from it."

Lexa pulled to a stop and continued scanning her camp, eyes passing over everyone.

"I attempted to get the one referred to as Marcus Kane, on board." Luna continued and with a sigh she said regretfully, "But he was of no use."

"There you are."

Luna's head popped up. "Lex-"

Lexa ignored the woman and started through the camp once again and with a determined stride. She kept her eyes firmly locked onto her target as she proceeded through the camp, she ducked, wove and parted the crowd much like some of the Sky People's stories of a Red Sea - although they had assured her it was in fact not red, thus she did not understand why such a ridiculous name for such a thing.

Luna quickly trundled after her friend barely missing objects with so much less finesse then Lexa who continued to stare straight ahead, blind to her surroundings. If the woman was on a rampage, she currently felt sorry for whomever ended up in her path, the first and last were always the worst deaths.

"Octavia!" Lexa called.

Octavia jerked upright, her body coming to a snap and clean standstill. "_Heda_," Octavia bowed.

Luna frowned her sympathies to the girl, she liked Lincoln, he was like a brother to her, Lexa and Costia as they grew up, this meant that in turn she liked Octavia...or maybe she just felt sorry for Lincoln's short lived romance.

"I request your presence in my tent...immediately." Lexa informed her.

Octavia nodded and as Lexa left she gave Luna a curious glance. The woman just returned it with another sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry," Luna muttered her apology.

Octavia shook her head out of the confusion and quickly started to follow after Lexa, Luna trailing along behind her. A few minutes of following and she ducked into the Commander's tent, took the sight in and quickly focused her attention on a furiously pacing Lexa. "Is something the matter, _heda_?"

"Clark-"

Octavia tensed and shot out. "Is she okay?"

Lexa nodded once. "Since we had last talked, I remember her being safe."

Octavia relaxed her posture a little. "Then what about Clarke?"

"She has bec-"

"Wait, is this because of all those pick up lines you've been feeding her."

"They are words Octavia, I cannot make her eat words."

Octavia shook her head, "I meant, is this about all those things you've said to her."

"I have sa-"

"The pick up lines, _heda_."

Lexa shifted slightly, unwilling to show weakness but she knew that if she didn't admit it this would go nowhere besides, Octavia had already seen her do a few before so the girl already knew. "Yes."

"You know, Clar-"

"Is special," Lexa interrupted her. "She deserves to be treated specially. Which is why I require your help, Octavia. I need something to say to Clarke. Something which will make her feel special."

"I have an idea," Octavia spoke with enthusiasm.

"Really?"

"Tell her the truth."

Lexa thought about that for a moment before nodding. "You're right Octavia." She nodded to the girl, "You have been of welcome assistance and I thank you for that."

Octavia shrugged, "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"But it is." Lexa nodded, "I will tell her the truth." She turned to face Luna who was just standing there watching their interaction, "Gather a few, we march immediately."

Octavia's brow creased, "wait, what?"

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Clarke!" Lexa called out, her voice carrying over Camp Jaha in a solid wave. She cared less who was listening as she marched a group of thirteen into the camp, one for each leader of each clan she had united and Octavia. She wanted everyone to know, to know how special Clarke was to her. To know exactly what Clarke meant to her and if she had to appear as weak to them to do so, then she would.

Clarke dropped what she was doing and backed up a little as Lexa approached, fully decked out in her grounder Commander gear, it wasn't uncommon that Lexa would be dressed in such gear but the part that was uncommon, was the fact that Lexa was dressed in grounder gear and was being escorted by twelve other intimidating faces excluding her own and Octavia's fearful look.

"What's go-"

Lexa approached Clarke full force, her hand raised to silence Raven. "Return that which you have stolen from me."

Clarke's brow creased in confusion. "I haven't stolen anything from you Lexa."

"Oh no." Raven considered face palming herself as she watched Octavia shrink and Lexa take another intimidating step forward.

"Return what was taken from me."

Clarke backed up a little until she could no more once her back collided with the metal wall of Camp Jaha's compound. "I didn't take anything Lexa. I swear to you."

"Liar," Lexa told her.

"But I'm no lyi-"

Lexa took the last step closer to Clarke, reached for the blonde's upper arms and gripped them, tight but not hard or rough enough to leave a mark. She couldn't mark the girl, she would never mark the girl and anyone who dared do such a thing, would meet the edge of her blade. "Do not test my patience, Clarke." She told her more seriously but in a much less lighter tone which was barely above a whisper. "I was there when you took it from me. Return it."

Clarke swallowed, a little nervous. "What did I take?"

Lexa's eyes went soft and she gave the girl she had set her heart on a tiny yet meaningful smile. "My heart."

The world froze. Clarke was absolutely positive about that. If not, she was about to freeze it, because sure it was sweet of Lexa but this had gone to far. Intimidation for a pick up line now.

"Are you serious?"

Lexa dropped her arms from Clarke's shoulders and took a step back. "I do not underst-" Lexa shook her head.

"You don't understand half of what you say."

"Wel-"

"No!" Clarke yelled a little loudly causing the onlookers and Lexa's very own escort to back away or look elsewhere. "No more Lexa. Just stop with the lines alright? They're stupid."

Luna for all her years had never seen someone shut down their emotions as quickly as she was watching Lexa do. In a split moment, Lexa had gone from crestfallen, a frowning face and sad eyes, to a blank and emotionless look.

Lexa stood straighter because even though she had practically just been turned down by Clarke, she was a Commander and a Commander was not weak.

She wouldn't blame Clarke, couldn't blame Clarke. Clarke was everything she wasn't but most of all she wasn't tainted with the past like herself, sure there was Finn but even Clarke had managed to repair herself since then...Lexa...Lexa knew she'd never be fully repaired after Costia, she'd always be a broken sword or broken shell of an egg...real eggs not the eggplant she loved to eat which...didn't actually have shell, Lexa made sure to make note of that, a question she would pose the cook in the kitchen later.

Clarke didn't deserve to have her baggage dumped on her, she deserved someone who could give her the world not the whisper's of promises to die trying to give it to her...Lexa frowned internally at yet another foolish Sky People saying, one cannot give the world to someone else...but she would die trying to give it too Clarke but Clarke would never accept it, not now and not back when the girl had told her _"not yet"_, she had held hope for a future but the girl had obviously been trying not to start another war by hurting her feelings, feelings she shouldn't have had for the blonde in the first place.

"Very well, Clarke." Lexa nodded her assent, "I will not bother you any further." Lexa added one last nod to the blonde, pivoted and started back to her camp, Indra and Luna following behind her with the other ten leaders. She passed Raven, Lincoln, Bellamy, Wick, Jasper, Monty, Monroe and Abby in the process, each offering her a tiny sympathetic smile. She didn't need it. She didn't want it.

"Hey, was that necessary?" Octavia asked.

Clarke crossed her arms but watched slightly forlorn as Lexa walked away. "Trust me, it's Lexa she'll be back. She always is."

Raven shook her head and side eyed her friend. Clarke would always be her best friend but Lexa...Lexa had started to grow on her and the obvious detachment the Grounder Commander was showing had her reeling from the fact that she was the cause of all of this.

"I don't think so. Not this time." Octavia told her.

Raven shuffled her feet a little, careful of the brace. "She just wanted you to know she liked you."

"Then why didn't she tell me like a normal person."

"Because I told her otherwise!" Raven yelled, quickly clamping a hand over her mouth.

"What do you mean you told her otherwise?" Abby asked from her spot beside the girl.

Raven sighed, removed her hand and spoke. "I suggested she try and be witty and then I may have mentioned a pick up line to do with an oven."

"You're the oven?" Lincoln inquired.

Raven nodded.

"Why would you do that?" Clarke asked.

"Because you told her _not yet_," Raven replied. "It had been nearly four months since you had told her and she was down and avoiding you thinking that that's what you wanted, time. You obviously didn't or so I thought, so I suggested something to Lexa...obviously didn't think she would take me seriously and it was mostly just to get her out of my work area but the point is...she cares about you and you just practically shot her down."

Clarke frowned and glanced down at her hands once the sight of Lexa's form had vanished into the distance. "She'll be back. She has to be."

**Hope you enjoyed it and don't be to harsh on Clarke please, all will be forgiven hopefully. **

**Chapter 11 next and it comes with a nice twist or so I think.**


	11. You're My Universe

**Alright this has hopefully a good mix of drama and humor and a few other things. **

**As guessed, you guys/girls got it right when you said Clarke should be the one to give the pick up line. It had always been my intention to have her do one and what better way then to get her girl back.**

**Also, might be OOC for a little but I think anybody who is drunk is a little OOC.**

**Hopefully you like it.**

**Warning for language in this one.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Are you okay?"

"Fine. F-f-fine. Peachy even." Clarke answered the worried glance from Octavia as her knee jerked against her a couple of times, skittery looks here and there. She was almost bouncing in her seat. "Do you know coffee is made from beans? Little tiny beans, so tiny." She made to show them by measuring the distance with her index finger and thumb, "They're so cute."

Octavia and Raven shared a concerned look.

"You do know a large quantity in one hit isn't good for you?" Raven asked.

"How many have you had?" Octavia asked.

"A few. A few. Just a few." Clarke answered almost jumping up and down on her seat, "three, four, five, maybe more."

Another shared look of concern between Octavia and Raven.

"Is this about Lexa?" Octavia asked turning to face her friend.

Clarke's brow creased, "No. Why would this b-be about L-Lexa?"

"Because you haven't seen, heard or spoken to her since you went off at her yesterday and usually by now she'd be trying another line on you and I think you're missing her."

Clarke scoffed and waved her hand. "Please, I'm fine without her giving me a line." Clarke left it at that for a few moments before adding, "Plus, there's still thirteen hours, forty six minutes and twenty thre-four seconds of today left. She could just be scouring for another line."

Octavia and Raven's look off concern passed between the two again.

"I don't think so," Octavia told her.

"Well..." Clarke looked at Octavia disgruntled, "How would you know? You don't know her. What are you...best friends now?"

Raven attempted to reach for the blonde's cup of coffee but found herself with a sore wrist and a death glare aimed her way. She yanked her hand back, rolled it a little and her other hand up in surrender. "There are easier ways to drown your sorrows Clarke."

Clarke wrapped her hands around her cup and stared down into the black liquid. "I couldn't find the alcohol."

Octavia and Raven shared yet another look of concern.

Clarke shook her head violently. "No!" She declared jumping to her feet where she began to bounce on the balls of her feet. "Lexa's just waiting for me to let my guard down. I won't for fall it." She eyed her two friends carefully and whispered seriously at them, "Won't fall for it." She waved two fingers in front of her own eyes before pointing them towards Raven and Octavia, "Watching you two."

Octavia and Raven watched as Clarke skittered off with an awful amount of hopping and skipping in her step.

"I don't know which is worse..." Raven started.

"I know," Octavia interrupted, "A lovesick Lexa or a lovesick Clarke."

Raven tilted her head and said with a small shrug, "I was gonna say a silent Lexa or a coffee drowned Clarke but eh..." she shrugged again at her friend, "...your way works too."

**-X-X-X-X-**

Clarke had waited; three hours, twenty two minutes and forty si-seven seconds, four more cups of coffee and some alcohol Monty had given her from Jasper's stash later. Still no Lexa. She wasn't worried. Wasn't worried at all.

Clarke glanced down at her watch.

Three hours, twenty two minutes and fifty six seconds.

Three hours, twenty two minutes and fifty seven seconds.

Three hours, twenty two minutes and fifty eight seconds.

Three hours, twenty two minutes and fifty nine seconds.

Three hours, twenty three minutes and one second.

Clarke growled stood and started towards Camp Jaha's gate. This couldn't go on any longer, she knew Lexa was up to something. The girl couldn't not be. She couldn't have taken what she had said personally, she was Lexa after all, nothing touched the girl and nothing whatsoever stopped the Commander if she so much as set her sights on something, not even a few choice words.

Clarke marched her way out of camp and towards her intended destination.

**-X-X-X-X-**

"The Ice Nation has agreed to send meat in the next caravan to the Sky People." Indra informed her Commander.

Lexa nodded but said nothing.

"My people will provide warmth and comfort as much as possible." Luna added as well.

Lexa nodded again, "Ours will provide protection from the rai-"

"Sto-"

"Save it."

The Generals within the tent and Lexa's head shot up to face the interruption as a head of blonde hair attached to a rather furious figure entered the camp follow by Lexa's two tent guards.

"Apologies _heda_," one of the guards spoke, "she would not head our warnings that you were in the middle of talks and that you did not wish to be disturbed."

"That is fine," Lexa told them. "Return to your duties."

The two guards did so with a small bow. "_Heda_."

Lexa turned back to the blonde, impassively. "Clarke how ma-"

"I know you're up to something."

"Excus-"

"Don't deny it," Clarke told her. "Pretending this is a meeting and not a secret gathering to come up with another pick up line."

"Are you dying?" Luna asked, watching the jittery movements of Clarke, her shaking hands and her twitching left eye.

"What?" Clarke asked with a frown on her face.

"Clarke I told you that I would not use another line." Lexa said.

Clarke smiled in disbelief. "Right..." Clarke pointed her finger at Lexa, "You're trying to distract me." She took a step closer to Lexa, "pretending you aren't going to show up," she took another step closer, "get me to let my guard down," she took another step, "and then _boom_ there you will be," she took another step closer, "with some strange and witty line," she took the final step up to Lexa and jabbed her finger into the Commander's chest. "I know what you're doing." Clarke took a step back but kept her finger still aimed at the girl, "I'm onto you." She waved the same finger around the entire camp, passing it over every single occupant, "I'm onto all of you." Clarke told them with a questioning glare at all of them before she turned and left the tent and the surprised occupants inside.

Lexa blinked a few times. The thick silence only being penetrated by everything happening outside of the tent. No one spoke inside. No one moved inside. This went on for a while, all too in shock at what had just happened.

Luna finally broke the silence, "Was it just me or did she look like she was dying?"

**-X-X-X-X-**

Octavia and Raven were on their way back to their own bunks, the moon was mid sky and the two were tired after having searched for Clarke everywhere but not having been able to find her.

Octavia was the first to pull to a stop. Her hearing having been finely tuned thanks to Indra. "Do you hear that?"

Raven squinted and strained to listen to what Octavia was speaking about. A few seconds later and the sounds of tiny sniffles and then full on ugly sobbing could be heard coming from the opposite side of the door leading to Clarke's room.

"I say we run." Raven offered, "Run and never look back."

Octavia gave the girl a pointed look.

"Geez," Raven scoffed, "When did you become the responsible Blake?"

"I've always been the responsible one," Octavia told her. "It's just now I have to act like it." A few moments passed, "Plus we can always suffocate Clarke if she doesn't shut up."

"Deal."

Raven reached for the handle, took a deep breath to steel her resolve and quickly entered the room with Octavia directly behind her.

The two girls were greeted with a pitch black room once the door had closed behind them.

"Clarke," Raven tried gently. She really did have the patience of a saint. "Clarke!" She yelled angrily, no point in lying.

Octavia gripped Raven's shoulder and pushed the girl in front of her, leading her to where she believed the light switch was.

"Ouch!" Raven yelled as her foot connected with a solid object that was lost to the dark.

Octavia continued leading the girl, using her as a shield.

"Ow!" Raven cried out again as her knee connected with a different but no less solid object. She could feel Octavia behind her, stepping lightly and weaving between furniture and the obvious mess on the floor. "Fucking ninja's." Raven cursed under her breath, "Why don't you lead and I follow?"

"Cause you already have a leg that is already bummed up," Octavia answered.

Raven elbowed the girl in her side.

Octavia yelped and quickly apologized before taking the last few step over to the light switch. She really wished the sensors for clapping worked. It would have saved her the trouble.

Raven blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the sudden onslaught of light. The moment her vision returned to normal, Raven considered telling Octavia to turn the light off again.

"God," Octavia started, "You're drunk."

Raven picked up an empty bottle and took a sniff, pulled back and grimaced. "Jasper's too."

Octavia shrugged, "Could be worse. She could have gotten her hands on Grounder liquor. Now that packs a punch." Octavia shook her head and sighed as she glanced down at her feet, "I still don't remember those two days."

Raven bent down and picked up another bottle. She rolled the old glass around in her hand before taking a whiff of the alcohol, she handed the bottle to Octavia. "I think she did."

Octavia took it, smelt the contents and could do nothing but agree.

Raven turned back to the blonde who had tears running down her face, her hair was a mess and looked as if a bird had begun building a nest within it, she was hugging a strange object in one hand, close to her chest and held a pencil to her sketchbook in the other.

Octavia's brow creased and her head tilted to get a better look at what Clarke was holding. "Is that Lexa's shoulder guard?"

Raven didn't think it were possible but somehow Clarke had managed to pull the shoulder guard even tighter to her chest at Octavia's words.

"I didn't take it," Clarke said. "I'm borrowing it."

Octavia dared to draw closer to the blonde mess. "Clarke you're drunk."

Raven took inventory of the room littered with enough empty bottles that she was surprised Clarke was even still awake, let alone alive.

"I ruined it." Clarke sniffled a little, "I told her no. Now she doesn't like m-me." Clarke hiccuped a little.

Octavia lent in towards Clarke, her eyes catching the picture of Lexa that Clarke had drawn with tiny little hearts next to it. She rolled her eyes, the sober Clarke she knew wouldn't have done that...maybe.

"Yeah," Raven nodded her head, no sympathy in her voice. "Pretty much."

Clarke glared at Raven.

Octavia glared at Raven.

Raven shrugged at the both of them.

"Seriously?" Octavia asked, slightly indignant.

Raven shrugged again. "What? It's true, she practically told Lexa to take her words back and shove'em where the sun don't shine."

The tears started flowing from Clarke again. Octavia reached for the pillow behind Clarke and launched it at Raven. She didn't want to hurt her friend, not only because they were friends or because Raven was already injured but because the girl was just telling the truth.

"Not now," Octavia told her as the pillow connected with the other girls face.

Raven rolled her eyes, picked the pillow up of the ground and threw it back at Octavia who caught it mid air. "Fucking ninja's," Raven muttered but mentioned nothing about Clarke being at fault again for the time being.

Octavia took a free spot beside Clarke and heard the crinkling of what sounded like paper underneath her. She stood to her feet and lifted the blanket, hiding underneath was a photo of both Lexa and Clarke.

"Is this the photo Emerson had?" Octavia asked.

Clarke sniffled and nodded. She reached for the photo, pried it from the Sky Grounder's hands carefully and placed it on the bedside table carefully.

"Stalkerish much," Raven muttered but the glare from Octavia told her that the other girl had heard. "Fucking ninja's." Raven watched as Octavia comforted the blonde for a little while, the moment it dragged on past the ten minute mark, Raven had decided enough was enough. "Alright, stop!" Raven yelled.

The two women froze. The only sounds in the room came from Clarke's tiny sniffles and occasional hiccup.

"Clarke might be drunk," Raven explained. "But that doesn't mean she should be consoled, if anyone should get the hugs and comfort it's Lexa."

"Rav-"

"No, Octavia, no." Raven shook her head. "Clarke you're my best friend but you were cruel to Lexa and now you're upset because you realize that you did in fact like Lexa giving you ridiculous pick up lines...I'm not entirely sure why but you did and now that she won't do it, you're sad."

"I know." Clarke said with a tiny sniffle, she pulled on Octavia's grounder jacket and rubbed her nose against it.

"Hey!"

Raven snorted at the sight before asking, "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," Clarke answered, "Lexa wants nothing to do with me anymore."

Another sniffle.

Another rub.

"Hey!"

"No," Raven shook her head violently, "No more feeling sorry for yourself." She took a limping step forward to the blonde. "You're going to get some sleep, wake up, sober yourself up and go and get your girl back."

"Bu-"

"Or I will murder you with your pencil." Raven told her taking the few steps forward to Clarke's bed where she snatched up the pencil out of her friends hand, "I'm not kidding. I may not know where the main arteries are but I can keep jabbing," she told her while making jabbing motions with the sharp pencil.

Another sniffle.

Another rub.

"Hey! Stop it!"

Clarke ignored her and nodded at Raven. "You're right." She removed her sketchpad from the bed and placed it beside the picture on her bedside table before she slipped her legs underneath the covers, "You guys are the best friends a girl could have."

Another sniffle.

Another rub.

Octavia just sighed.

"Co-could one of you stay here? I don't want to be alone." Clarke asked hesitantly.

Octavia and Raven shared a look. A game of foot, bombs and cockroaches playing in each others eyes.

"Co-could one of you make sure that Lexa won't be stolen away from me by someone else tonight?"

Octavia shot up from the bed. "I'll do it!" She called.

"Damn it," Raven muttered under her breath. Octavia had been fast Raven would give that to the girl. "Fucking ninja's."

Half an hour later and Raven found herself laying on one side of the bed with Clarke on the other and the shoulder guard of Lexa's and the photo Emerson had taken between them. Raven sighed, it was going to be a long night but hopefully by tomorrow it would all be worth it...Raven gripped the pencil tighter, it had better be worth it.

**-X-X-X-X-**

Clarke was up at the crack of dawn, she had managed to leave the bed and not wake Raven who was half out of the bed and half in the bed. She dared not touch the girl in case she disturbed her...do not wake the sleeping giant and all that other stuff.

Clarke scoffed down breakfast to rid herself of the hangover she had, she skipped the coffee, reimbursed Jasper for all of his missing alcohol, apologized profusely to those she had embarrassed herself too the day before and won an arm wrestle against the Grounder she had stolen the grounder alcohol from but there was one person left that she had to go see, to go apologize to, whether or not she took her back, Clarke owed her that.

Clarke was a few meters from the main tent, the only presence being the two guards at the tent and the few walking around camp, apparently Grounders liked to sleep in too when there was no war. Her nerves started appearing the closer she drew to Lexa's camp, she tried steeling them but it was no use. She had begun a complete one-eighty turn when a voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Going somewhere?"

Clarke grimaced, spun back and plastered a weak smile to her face. "Octavia, surprise seeing you here."

Octavia thumbed over at the Commander's tent. "She's still in there." She told the blonde crossing her arms over her chest.

Clarke sighed but knew Octavia was right. She had to face the music eventually whether she liked it or not. Whether Lexa wanted to be with her or not.

"I'm going," Clarke told Octavia. She gathered whatever bit of resolve she had and marched herself over to the tent, slipping inside without resistance from the guards. The tent was full of tiny lit candles, it would be romantic if it had been any other setting. "Lexa?" She called hesitantly.

"Clarke?" Lexa's voice responded.

"Hey," Clarke offered a tiny wave to the girl before she quickly shoved her hands into her pocket, her shoulder's slumping slightly.

A few moments passed before Lexa asked. "Did you require something?"

Clarke could see that underneath the emotionless facade that Lexa had put up that she was hurting and it was because of her that Lexa was trying to shut down again. She wouldn't let her. Couldn't let her do so.

Clarke removed her hands from her pockets and took a few steps towards Lexa and into the girls personal space. "If I had a star for every time you brightened my day..."

"Clar-"

Clarke raised her hand. "Please, let me."

Lexa opened her mouth to speak but promptly shut it. Even if Clarke didn't like her the way that she liked her, she would still do anything for her.

Clarke reached for Lexa's hand and started again, looking her directly in the eye to convey the meaning more meaningfully. "If I had a star for every time you brightened my day..." she paused, "...I wouldn't have a galaxy. I'd have a universe."

Lexa took the words to heart, replaying them over and over again in her head in the silence of her tent. Moments more passed before she asked, "Are you saying what I believe you to be saying Clarke?"

Clarke sucked it up, it was now or never. "Look, Lexa, I know I was a jerk to you..."

"You were an asshole."

"...bu..." Clarke paused at Lexa's words, "Wait. What? Did you just call me an asshole?"

Lexa nodded. "Octavia informed me that you were one." Lexa frowned a little, "What is an asshole?"

Clarke scoffed, shook her head but answered. "It's what I am. It means I was cruel to you unintentionally."

"You had every reaso-"

"See that's the thing," Clarke started, "I didn't. I loved every single one of your pick up lines."

"But you seemed frustrated with a few of them."

Clarke shook her head. "That's only because I wanted you to admit you liked me but at the same time I was scared and upset because half of the time you didn't know what you were saying so I thought that perhaps you didn't know the meaning behind pick up lines. Also, I was to scared of rejection to speak up."

"Clar-"

"I love you, Lexa." Clarke admitted, "I love your pick up lines, I love your war paint, I love your cluelessness, I love your wittiness, I love your flaws, I love every small and big thing about you and most importantly, I love your wounds both emotionally and physically because I love you and you wouldn't be you without them."

"Ugh, just kiss already!"

Clarke and Lexa pulled apart slightly.

"Was that Raven?" Lexa asked.

"Seriously, Raven?"

"I told you to shut up."

"Octavia?" Lexa asked.

"Really?" Clarke shot their way through the tent.

"Doh!" Octavia's reply came back.

"Idiot," Raven muttered but this time it was heard by the three women.

"Go away!" Clarke yelled at them. The sound of shuffling feet informed Clarke that the two girls on the other side of the tent had hopefully listened to her. She turned back to Lexa, offered a weak and embarrassed smile and asked, "Are we okay?"

Lexa offered a smile of her own. "Yes."

Clarke may have opened the discussion with a pick up line, which may have been odd and ridiculous to some but for her and Lexa, pick up lines were sort of their thing.

"This is good news," Lexa said.

Clarke smirked, wrapping her arms around the girls neck. "Really?"

Lexa nodded. "It means I must find a new pick up line."

Clarke's face blanked as she felt Lexa place a small kiss to her forehead before she slipped out from under the blonde's encircled arms and made her way out of the tent.

"Indra!"

Clarke frowned. "Not again."

**Three and a half thousand words later and I am done with this chapter but do not fear, Lexa and pick up lines are not over and you never know, maybe Clarke has some up her sleeves herself. **

**Pick up line war anybody?**

**Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.**


	12. Abrakadabra

**Alright, I got a part time job during studying, so as I now have the night shift at a museum on Thursday and Friday nights Australian time I will no longer be able to post those nights. Sorry about that but I hope this chapter of over three thousand words helps you to forgive me.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Alright, up next is Jasper." Marcus's voice carried over the crowd of Sky People and Grounders sitting in rows of chairs facing the makeshift stage.

Numerous Grounder's stood to their feet, hands on the hilts of their swords awaiting the order to attack the man who had given their Commander false information.

Jasper froze mid stage, box in hand.

"Lexa," Clarke said sternly.

"What?" Lexa asked, almost innocently.

Clarke gave her a pointed look. "You can't just kill people because their pick up line failed and it didn't even really fail."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can," but it was defended weaker then before.

"No, Lexa you can't."

Lexa sighed but waved her hand at the Grounder's to lower their weapons. She was almost positive she could hear Octavia behind her make the sound of a cracking whip, she would ask the girl about such notion later, right now she shot a glare at Luna and Lincoln who were laughing quietly with one another.

Lincoln stopped at the glare his Commander gave him.

Luna laughed louder and harder.

Jasper released the breath he was holding as he watched the Grounder's take a seat. Clearing his throat, he stepped up to the cloth covered table and placed the box on it. "Hey, so I'm here to show you magic."

A round of questions floated through the Grounder audience each question pointed to different Sky Person within their vicinity.

Lexa turned to Clarke. "What is magic?"

"It's a trick," Clarke answered. "It's like having an ability to do strange things without it actually being real."

Lexa didn't understand still but in attempt to not seem so clueless when it came to the Sky People, she nodded at the blonde. A few moments passed as the talking grew louder, a few more moments passed and Lexa yelled, "Pleni!"

The crowd went silent Grounder's and Sky People a like and Jasper threw the Commander a look of gratitude.

"I didn't do it for you," Lexa grumbled under her breath, she wasn't doing it to help the boy, she had just wanted to stop the headache forming, honestly.

Clarke heard the mumbled words and placed her hand on top of the Commander's which was laying on the arm rest of her seat between the two of them. She gave a small squeeze and when she had Lexa's attention she offered the girl a thankful smile of her own.

Lexa smiled back and once again heard Octavia make the sound of a cracking whip behind her as well as the sound of Lincoln and Luna now joined by Raven laughing amongst themselves again.

"Alright, well. For the first act of tonight I'll need a volunteer." Jasper waited for a hand to rise. In the front row he caught sight of one of the off duty security guards raising his hand. "You, come up here." He told the man. He waited for him to pull himself up and onto the stage before he handed the man a deck of cards, "Shuffle these and then pull any one of the cards out, show it to the audience and then put it back in the deck."

The man began shuffling and a few moments later he pulled a card free from the bottom of the deck and held it out to the audience. He glanced once more at it, memorizing it before placing it back into a random spot of the deck. He handed the cards back to Jasper who shuffled the deck once more, placed it on the table and blew, the cards were removed one by one, falling of the stage all face down until one fell off face up.

Jasper stood and pointed down at the card on the ground in front of the stage, "Is that your card?"

The guard nodded and the crowd applauded including the Grounders.

Jasper waved the guard back to his seat before returning to his box. He retrieved a tall round hat and removed the box from the table. Clearing his throat again he lifted the hat and tipped it upside down before showing the interior of the hat to the audience. "As you can see there is nothing inside but wait and see."

Lexa watched Jasper as he spun the hat upside down and placed it on the table before retrieving what looked to be a stick colored white and black from the box. She watched as he waved it around the hat a few times, whispered some strange words in a language Lexa didn't know and reached into the hat.

A rabbit came out and the crowd gasped.

"Impossible," Indra muttered.

"Witchcraft!" Luna called, "Behead him."

The Grounder's crowd stood to their feet, hands on the hilts of their swords.

"Wait!" Clarke called jumping to her own feet.

Jasper dropped the rabbit which scattered for the nearest exit.

Clarke looked around her at all the Grounder's she could see. "It's not real." She turned back to Jasper and motioned towards him, "Show them."

Jasper nodded and quickly pulled the cloth cover off the table to reveal a tiny box underneath the table. "S-see, not real."

Luna grunted her displeasure but waved her hand for the Grounder's to all take their seats again.

Clarke took hers again beside Lexa, looked over at the Commander and sarcastically said. "Thanks for the help."

"I believe you had it well under control, Clarke."

Jasper swallowed nervously but continued, the show must go on after all, apparently even under the threat of imminent demise.

Jasper ran his eyes over the crowd before speaking, "For this next trick I require a volunteer."

Another Sky Person raised their hand but Clarke spoke up against it, "Let's give a Grounder a go."

The Sky Person who had raised their hand nodded eagerly at the idea.

"What is the trick?" Luna inquired.

"I will saw someone in half," Jasper answered garnering a look of displeasure from the woman and a rather loud response of displeasure from the rest of the Grounder's. Jasper held his hands up in surrender whilst he watched the Commander pick her nails in disinterest of the happenings, he really should have kept his mouth shut after giving Lexa the pick up line. "It's not real. No blood and no de-"

"Indra will do it," Lexa spoke as she picked her nails clean.

The crowd went quiet.

Indra frowned, "Comman-"

"You will do it, Indra." Lexa told her, "Or would you rather spend time with the children again like you have for the past few days? I hear the babies were enjoyable for you."

Indra grumbled under her breath.

Luna chuckled.

Indra shot her a glare.

Lexa raised a questioning eyebrow at the woman. "What was that?"

"_Sha heda_." Indra replied, stood to her feet and started towards the stage.

Jasper welcomed her with a nervous distance and very few words. He made his way off stage and returned with a box of sorts. He opened it and told Indra to lay down inside of it, the intimidating glare the woman shot his way almost made him reconsider the act all together...but the show must go on.

Lexa watched as Indra laid back inside the box and Jasper closed the top half over the woman. She watched him spin it a few times before he retrieved a saw from the box on the ground beside the table, he returned beside Indra and lifted the saw into the air.

Jasper called, "Are you ready?"

The Grounder crowd nodded hesitantly while the Sky People cheered eagerly.

Jasper lowered the saw and begun cutting, he pulled back and forth on the saw for what felt like ages. After a while he felt the box give way, placing the saw on the table he pulled the two a part and showed the audience, Indra's head and legs at either end.

The crowd gasped in surprise.

Lexa sat up straighter, she eyed the box wearily and listened to the astonishment coming from her people. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Awesome isn't it?" Clarke asked, smiling at the look on the Commander's face.

Lexa nodded.

Jasper smiled, bowed slightly and quickly made to reattach the General to both halves of herself in case the Commander changed her mind and decided she still wanted to keep her General.

Indra shot out of the box quickly, she patted down her body and over legs before letting out a sigh of relief. She turned a glare on the boy before quickly made her way off stage and back over to the seat beside her Commander.

Jasper held his hands up and spoke. "Alright, my last act of the night requires one more volunteer."

Clarke smirked, "Lexa will do it." The crowd went absolutely silent upon the suggestion. No one moved. No one spoke and Clarke was pretty sure she just heard the rabbit being fried on the electric fence on the other side of camp.

Lexa turned to look at the blonde. "Wh-"

"You'll do it right?" Clarke asked, "For me. Please."

Lexa tried. Honestly she did but she could never say no to Clarke. Ever.

Sighing Lexa stood.

Octavia made the sound of a cracking whip.

Lincoln, Luna and Raven chuckled.

Lexa rolled her shoulders and made her way up to the stage over the hushed whispers of Grounder's who waited for their Commander to refuse to do it. Lexa kept walking, she never could say no to Clarke.

Jasper backed up nervously, he almost considered bolting for the nearest exit much like the rabbit had but once again he convinced his legs to stay where the were, reminding them that the show must go on. Jasper left the stage and quickly returned with a tall rectangular box, he pulled it open and twisted it around to show the audience all sides of the box.

"For this last trick, I will make the Commander disappear."

Lexa scoffed but a look from Clarke silenced her immediately. She remembered the blonde's words from before, when she had tried to convince her to convince the other Grounder's and to go herself and see this show that the Sky People were putting on for anyone wanting to show off any skills of theirs, _"try and have fun"_ Clarke had asked of her, Lexa had promised Clarke that she would attempt to. Thus far the only fun thing she had seen was when one of the Sky People had been propped up on a spinning spiral by a Grounder and had axes thrown at him as a show of skill, the mans utter look of fear was enough to have Lexa laughing out loud...that and Indra being sawn in half.

"Step inside," Jasper told Lexa.

Lexa glared but obeyed for Clarke's benefit.

"Just relax," Jasper told her before enclosing her within the dark box.

Clarke watched, nibbling away at her bottom lip as Jasper spun the box three times in one direction, five in another and seven more in the other direction again before he stopped the box, said his abrakadabra and pulled open the door to the box open.

"Kill him!" Indra called.

"Wait!" Clarke yelled again with slight exasperation, perhaps it wasn't the best idea to have Lexa go in the box. "It's not real remember," she turned to Jasper, "Bring her back Jasper."

Indra didn't sit down much like the rest of the Grounder's but she did obey Clarke's orders on waiting.

Jasper nodded and quickly closed the door to the box and began spinning it again in numerous directions. Stopping the box, he once again said his words of magic and pulled the door open.

The Sky People gasped.

Clarke cringed, this wasn't good.

"He has made the Commander vanish. Kill him!" Luna ordered this time and the Grounder's marched on Jasper.

Jasper backed up as the Grounder's mounted the stage and the Sky People came to his defense.

Clarke stood up and made her way over to her friend. She pushed through the amassed crowd of Grounder's and Sky People, mounted the stage and jumped in between Jasper and Luna. "Wait a moment," Clarke told the woman with a hand extended towards her. "Lexa's not really gone."

"_Nou_!" Luna yelled to her people. If any of them so much as laid a hand or finger on Clarke, Lexa would kill them. Luna glanced at the empty box which had contained her Commander. Lexa would reappear and then kill them, Luna corrected herself. "We do not wish to harm this Sky Person but I assure you we will if we do not have our Commander back."

Indra stepped up beside Luna and nodded her agreement, "So where is our Commander?"

Clarke glanced over her shoulder at her friend.

Jasper shrugged.

The Grounder's made move to approach.

Clarke pushed back against Luna and Indra.

"_Nou_!" Luna and Indra called unanimously.

The Grounder's stopped in their tracks immediately but none sheathed their sword.

"She's supposed to be inside the box," Jasper motioned towards it. "She was supposed to go down in this makeshift elevator type thing that Raven created and then come back up when Raven pressed the button again.

"Wait, where is Raven?" Octavia asked.

Clarke and the others scanned the crowd for the mechanic but came up empty. Clarke turned back to Jasper and questioned with slight worry in her voice, "Are you sure that was the plan?"

Jasper nodded furiously.

"_hon op heda_," Octavia ordered.

Indra squinted her eyes at Jasper but nodded her assent to the rest of the Grounder's who went in search of the Commander. "If we do not find her nor the one called Raven, we will be back."

"Back," Luna said as Indra turned away to join the search for the Commander. Luna backed away herself, "We will be back."

Clarke watched as the East Sea Leader left them and the Sky People standing on the stage.

**-X-X-X-X-**

Clarke was starting to worry. She had a horde of Grounder's outside which could rival any zombie film ever made and all were searching for the Commander of the Grounder's who had literally disappeared. Not even Raven had been found.

Clarke knew one of two things. One, Raven had managed to convince Lexa to run away with her and hide or two, Lexa was really missing. Clarke prayed it was the prior and not the latter. Least she'd only have to murder Raven and not have to panic over Lexa, kill Jasper and stop a horde of rampaging Grounder's from annihilating her people.

Clarke searched Raven's workplace, turning things upside down and inside out. With no luck and a distraught Wick who she had threatened for the whereabouts of his somewhat girlfriend, she had left and began her path to the sleeping quarters. Worry over Lexa's disappearance and regret at having been the cause of it, for making the girl go in the stupid box in the first place. She'd kill Jasper first before the Grounder's did if she didn't find Lexa shortly.

Abby had at first remained on the outskirts of the camp wide search party but had eventually taken part in it at the sight of worry beginning to creep up on her daughter's face and in her eyes, it had nothing to do with her own worry for Lexa, none at all.

She had searched high and low for the Commander but had come up empty.

Abby was on her way to the med bay when she pulled to a stop as she heard a tiny laugh coming from under the stage. She strained to listen closely over the ruckus of hundreds of people searching for the Commander and Raven.

The sound of laughter erupted again and this time Abby zoned in on the location. She glared at the covered underside of the stage. The only obvious place to look which none had, she hadn't even thought to look there herself. Righting her clothes she marched determinedly towards the underside of the stage. She was going to let them have it if she were right about their location.

Reaching the underside, she pulled up the cloth blocking her view from seeing the inside. The moment the light reached inside the under croft of the stage, two faces panicked and shone with fear.

"H-hey Abby, f-found us." Raven said with an uneasy smile.

"Why is Abby mad?" Lexa asked Raven, "You informed me that this is what Sky People do to make others laugh."

Raven cringed, "Yeah, I may have lied about that, in part."

Abby thumbed over her shoulder, motioning for them to climb out.

Raven obeyed immediately, not wanting to infuriate the woman anymore then she already had apparently.

Lexa remained behind as she hesitantly asked, "Am I in trouble?" She hadn't felt so much like a kid in trouble with their mother than she did now since before she was picked to be Commander at the age of eight.

Abby thumbed once more over her shoulder, "Out."

Lexa shook her head no.

"Don't make me come in there after you." Abby threatened.

Lexa climbed out quickly but hesitantly.

Abby dropped the cloth cover and noticed that none of the Grounder's nor Sky People had noticed the Commander's and Raven's reappearance.

Abby crossed her arms over her chest and started. "Explain?"

Raven shrugged her shoulder's, dug her toe into the dirt a few times before she tried for an explanation. "I just wanted to make Clarke feel even the tiniest bit of what she made Lexa feel." Raven nodded over at Lexa, "I know it's not exactly the same but I just wanted her to worry."

"Worry?" Abby questioned.

"I had no part in this." Lexa told the woman, "I thought we were making others laugh."

"Quiet," Abby instructed her before turning back to Raven. "My daughter is running around like a chicken with it's head cut off."

Lexa laughed along with Raven at the mental image that was conjured up at the woman's words.

Abby glared at the two shutting them both up.

"Lexa!"

Lexa spun to face Clarke as the camp went silent.

"Make it right," Abby whispered to the girl.

Lexa smiled as Clarke crossed the distance between them and enveloped the Commander in a hug. Lexa returned it, regardless of what her people would think of the action.

Clarke pulled back after a time and noticed Raven, suddenly remembering why she was panicking mere moments beforehand. She considered striking out against Lexa's shoulder but decided against that with the numerous Grounder's watching the scene. Instead she turned her glare on the two. "Where the hell were you both?"

Raven shifted uncomfortably but a pointed look from Abby made her speak up. "Under the stage."

"What?"

"Raven informed me that it was a game you and your people play for fun." Lexa told her. "Hide and go seek, I believe is what she said."

Raven glared slightly at the girl but shrugged eventually, knowing that Lexa was telling the truth.

"Seriously?" Clarke sighed, "Le-"

"Are you a magician?"

Clarke paused, gave Lexa a look of disbelief and asked. "Really? Right now Lexa?"

"Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears."

Clarke tried. She honestly did try to remain angry but she couldn't help but smile at the line, her girlfriend really was a little bit of a naive idiot sometimes but she honestly meant the best and she was sweet, so she couldn't be mad at her.

Lexa smiled back and quickly ushered Raven away with her.

Abby sighed. She loved her daughter without question but this was ridiculous. It was obvious that Lexa had just found a way to get out of trouble.

Octavia made the sound of cracking whip this time aimed at Clarke.

**I just find the idea of Lexa being whipped believable but at the same time Clarke would be whipped as well I believe. **

**Raven and Lexa how much more trouble could the two get into.**

**Hope you enjoyed.**


	13. How Do You Like It Now?

**Sorry for the late chapter, if all goes well another will be up tomorrow. This had originally been nearly twelve thousand words but it had been so far out of character that I just couldn't put it here. Though I may make that one a one shot on the side cause I still thought it was good just not material for this particular story.**

**Hope you enjoy this.**

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Where the hell have all the pick up line books gone?"

Octavia scoffed as she flipped the page of her own book, "Try Lexa's tent."

Clarke sighed, stepped away from the library shelf and dropped down into a seat across from Octavia. "I need a good line."

"Seriously?"

Clarke nodded. "I need something to get back at Lexa with."

Octavia scoffed again. "You're only saying that because Lexa charmed the pants off of you and got herself out of trouble."

Clarke glared.

Octavia smirked.

"She sweet talked her way away." Raven added.

Clarke's turned an even deadlier glare Raven's way, the previous day not forgotten.

Raven held her hands up in surrender. "I come in peace."

Clarke sighed, slumping down into the seat.

Octavia sighed, shut her own book and dumped it on the pile on the floor before turning her attention to her friend. "I say let her continue and don't compete with her."

"What?"

Octavia shrugged. "I'm just saying, do you know how many people would kill to be in your position?"

Clarke glared, "You have your own Grounder. Stay away from mine."

Octavia held her hands out in defense. "Easy there LOCK."

Clarke's brow furrowed.

Raven laughed.

"What the hell is LOCK?"

Raven answered for Octavia, "Lexa's Own Clarke Kent. We figured you were about as whipped as Clark Kent was for Lois Lane in all those old superman films."

"No."

"Bu-" Octavia tried.

"No."

"Fine." The two girls muttered unanimously.

Clarke sighed, "I need help."

"Professional." Octavia muttered under her breath.

Clarke glared, again.

"I say go for it," Raven said. "I mean, what's the worse that could happen?"

Octavia answered, "she inspires Lexa even more."

"They're not that bad," Clarke defended Lexa.

"Clarke's right," Raven nodded. "They could be worse."

Octavia shot her two friends a look of disbelief. "What is wrong with you two? The only way it could be worse is if Lexa came in here shouting a Cupid pick up line from the roof."

Clarke grimaced, "She already did that."

"That's my girl," Raven cheered softly.

"What?" Octavia asked in shock.

Clarke shrugged. "Are you two going to help me or not?"

Octavia sighed in reluctance but nodded her assistance.

Clarke turned to Raven, "What about you?"

Raven considered it for a moment. She had already sworn fealty to Lexa, albeit she hadn't actually voiced it to the girl and she probably never would but Raven had started Lexa's adventure into pick up lines and so her reputation demanded that she take responsibility for every line Lexa said, it impacted her, so the lines had to be smooth and had to work.

Plus, she was kinda getting to like Lexa.

She turned to Clarke. She needed to do some recon, so she nodded to the blonde. "I'm in."

Clarke smiled and nodded happily. "Awesome. So..."

"First rule of pick up lines..." Raven started.

"Are there really rules to them?" Octavia asked in disbelief.

"Sure."

"Like?" Clarke asked.

"Like, be smooth about it. Your environment is your greatest weapon when you're delivering a line. Use it to your advantage."

"That is the stup-"

"Uh uh," Raven held a hand up to interrupt Octavia. "Let Raven Reyes, the one and only impart her knowledge onto you both."

"But I don't eve-"

"Ssh!" Raven silenced Octavia's protests. "Now as I was saying," she shot a glare the Sky Grounders way. "Second rule, be confident. If you aren't confident you're going to flop."

"And third?" Clarke asked eagerly, soaking up this information.

"Third..." Raven considered that for a moment before shrugging. "Nope, that's it."

"Third!" Octavia piped up, "Don't do pick up lines at all."

Raven and Clarke glared at the girl.

Octavia sighed. "This is going to end badly," she muttered under her breath.

**-X-X-X-X-**

"Heda..."

Clarke pushed past the tent guard, Raven and Octavia on her heels. "Lexa."

"Clarke?" Lexa questioned looking up from the map in the center table and over towards the blonde.

"Rule one?" Clarke mumbled to Raven.

"Use your environment."

Indra and Luna shared a look between one another before they both turned to face Octavia.

Octavia sighed in exasperation. "Don't ask."

Clarke scanned the room, cheered lightly when her eyes landed on a specific object of interest. "Rule two?"

"Be confident."

Clarke nodded, straightened out her clothes and stepped up to the table in the center of the room, she lent her hip against it, in a pose she hoped was both alluring and cool, she placed her hand down on the table and stared confidently up into Lexa's eyes. "Do you have a map?"

Lexa gave her a look of confusion. "You're leaning on it Clarke."

"I know a good many herbs you can take if you are going blind Clarke." Luna offered, she didn't want her friends sudden happiness to be impaired.

Clarke ignored her and continued, "Cause I've gotten lost in your eyes." She pulled away from the table, "Got you!" Clarke jeered, she gave Octavia a high five who reluctantly returned it, "How do you like it now?" She asked and without an answer quickly left the tent with the Sky Grounder behind her.

"What just happened?" Indra asked.

"Is the Sky Princess ill?" Luna questioned.

"Not exactly," Raven answered.

"I'm with Indra..." Lexa started, staring blankly at the spot Clarke had just been a few moments ago, "What just happened?"

**I hoped you enjoy this.**

**For those of you who get a laugh out of my humor, you may wish to try out my other story 'Sky People Are Strange'. It follows on only slightly from this but focuses less on pick-up lines and more on Lexa trying to learn Sky People ways to impress Clarke and to get the Grounders and Sky People on a level field. It will contain a Raven/Lexa friendship and a Lexa/Luna friendship along with a few other friendships as Lexa explores the world of Sky People.**

**In no way does that mean I am abandoning this story or the angsty story I am in the middle of writing.**


	14. Blue Eyed Girl

Clarke wasn't surprised to find the Grounder's outside practicing in the rain at six in the morning. It happened a lot, it seemed they preferred the rain to calm of bright Summer days. What did surprise her however was the sight of the Grounder's Commander, Lexa, out there sparring with Luna.

"Hey, Clarke, I didn't realize it was raining drool?" Clarke kept her eyes trained on the sparring match happening just outside of Camp Jaha and between the two camps.

"Code red!" Octavia called out, "Clarke has been abducted by an actual hormonal girl."

The two girls shared a look when Clarke didn't react to their words.

"Yo, Clarke!" Octavia called, snapping her fingers in front of her blonde friends face.

Clarke blinked and shot her head around to find her friends staring back at her. "Hey, guys. When did you get here?"

Raven rolled her eyes, nudged Clarke aside and slipped into the now empty spot beside her. "Between 'Lexa's dreamy' and 'Lexa's hot'."

Clarke eyed her suspiciously.

"A little creepy, Raven." Octavia voiced.

Raven held up her hands. "Hey, not like that. Pfft, I'm not interested in Lexa."

Octavia and Clarke shared a look between one another.

"I mean, have you seen my man?" Raven waved her hand dismissively at them, "He's totally hotter then Lexa, I mean sure...he doesn't have her soft hair..." Clarke's suspicious look became even more suspicious as she eyed her friend.

"How do you kno-"

"Or her abs," Octavia spoke up.

Clarke and Raven both snapped their heads around to face the girl who finally realized what she had just said.

Octavia looked guiltily towards Clarke, a meek shrug and she answered the questioning glare. "She was there when I learned how to swim."

"And you just happened to look?" Raven asked.

Octavia shrugged again, sinking inside her Grounder gear, knowing it wasn't bullet proof but hoping it was Clarke proof. "It was there. It's not like I could not look."

Clarke gave her a look of disbelief and scoffed, opening her mouth to speak.

Raven scoffed as well but spoke up first. "Sure. It's called looking away. Eyes to yourself. Best friends girlfriend. You have a boyfriend."

Octavia shrugged casually this time. "Hey just cause I have a hot boyfriend, doesn't mean I'm blind and plus..." Octavia started, "...at least I have a legitimate reason. What's yours for knowing how soft Lexa's hair is?"

Clarke broke her glare away from Octavia at the reminder and turned it back to Raven who sank lower into the bench wishing the ground would open up and swallow her. She had heard that that was a possibility, what the people on Earth before had called earthquakes, she had rolled her eyes the first time she had heard of it at the originality of a name for such a phenomenon. Raven didn't answer, just continued sinking into her seat.

**-X-X-X-X-**

Luna found herself flying through the air, her feet leaving the ground and her vision suddenly filled with dark grey clouds, rain falling and not an ounce of blue tinting the sky. She took one breath, kicked herself around and rolled back up and to her feet, at ready for another round with Lexa.

Lexa smirked, clenched her fists tighter and prepared for Luna's onslaught. She had been sparring with the girl since they were both old enough too, Lincoln had joined them on occasion and it usually ended with a free for all fight that led nowhere by the end.

Luna struck out again, only to have Lexa dodge the attack and deliver a kick to the back of Luna's knees. She knew that Lexa's alternative to enemies was to lash out to the front of the knees, knowing that with enough force applied she could break bones. Luna stumbled but managed to remain upright for a few moments before she felt Lexa's arm encircle her neck, trapping her in a death hold. Luna tapped the arm once and Lexa released. Sparring sessions were meant to improve a Grounder, not injure one.

Luna spun back to Lexa when a head of blonde hair caught her eye. "Is that, Clarke?"

Lexa's head shot around, "Where?"

Luna took the momentary distraction to grasp Lexa and pull her into a flip.

Lexa quickly found herself staring up at the dark skies above her, she blinked a few times in surprise before Luna's face came into view hovering over hers.

"You alright down there?"

Lexa blinked once more before turning a glare from below onto her friend. "You cheated."

"No," Luna told her. "I improvised."

Lexa's brow furrowed. "Impro...what did you just say?"

Luna shrugged and offered a hand down to the Commander, "I learned it from one of those Sky people, she was very helpful."

Lexa took the offered hand and was brought to her feet where she dusted herself down as she listened to Luna. She paused her actions and turned to look up at the taller woman whose tone was mixed with a heavy dose of fondness.

"She?"

Luna shrugged.

Lexa eyed her curiously. "I didn't know you liked plen like that."

Luna shrugged again. "I don't know...maybe I like them both. I mean a man is more ha-"

Lexa shook her head and cringed, "Please don't."

Luna let a little laugh slip. "You're just being like that because I'm not talking about some blonde girl that fell from the Sky with sparkles in her eyes and dreams of a paradise on Earth only to be sorely disappointed."

Lexa frowned a little. "Well that became depressing really quickly."

The surprise at the statement registered on both girls faces as the two fell into silence.

Luna broke the silence first. "You spend far to much time with Raven."

Lexa crossed her arms over her chest and shot a look of disbelief at her friend. "Are you still angry about me dropping paint on you?"

"My armor looks like a rainbow now and I am still finding that colored liquid stuff in my hair."

Lexa didn't answer.

"So..." Luna started, "The blind blonde, yeah, she's actually on her way over here and she actually looks mad." She looked back towards her friend, "What did you do Lexa?"

"You think I'll fall for that, you are not going to sneak attack me again." Lexa shook her head.

**-X-X-X-X-**

Clarke stood up from her spot next to her friends and quickly strode over towards Lexa, Octavia and Raven on her heels. She needed to have a word with the girl. Her feet carried her outside of Camp Jaha and over the field and towards the two girls.

"No really," Luna pointed over towards the approaching blonde.

Lexa eyed her friend cautiously before she turned to look behind herself. Surprise crossed her features at the sight of the blonde storm approaching, rather determinedly. She racked her brain for any memory of doing something wrong but none came. "Clar-" She held her hands out in front of her, in an attempt to calm to the storm.

"We have to talk..."

"I-"

"One; no more swim sessions with Octavia..."

Lexa's brow creased in confusion. "Wait, wh-"

"Two; you and Raven are to remain in plain sight whenever you two are hanging out together."

"Clarke!" Lexa called barely below a shout. A smile was tilting the corners of her lips as she placed both hands on the girls arms and looked the girl straight in the eyes and after a few moments of silence between the two she breathed, "Whoa!"

Clarke's brow furrowed, "What?"

Lexa shook her head, "I just-jus-wow."

Clarke tilted her head to the side, brow still furrowed. "Seriously, what is it?"

"I just realized why the sky was so grey today." Lexa spoke, amazement lacing her voice. "All the blue is in your eyes." She smiled successfully at the utter look of adoration on the blonde's face, lent down and gave her a tiny kiss before walking away, adding a little extra confidence in her already confident swagger.

"Now that's..." Raven broke the silence as she pointed at the retreating figure of Lexa, "...a pick-up line."

"She's good," Octavia hummed her agreement.

Luna lifted her brow towards her friend as she followed the girl at her side.

Lexa smirked. "Nailed it."

**Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.**


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